The Lies We Tell
by Aida Caroti
Summary: Gwaine lost everything because of an idle King. This is Gwaine's story from birth till before the series. 'In my eyes Gwaine you can do no wrong." "Even when I let the chickens out of the coop?"  "Even then" "Even when I accidently angered the cows and they trampled the corn?" "That was you?" "Err no?"
1. And So It begins

**A/N This story is set after the beginning of the purge, main characters from the show will most likely not appear in this for a while, except Gwaine of course. This story will be of three main parts with chapters in each part. The first part is before the birth of Gwaine, the second Gwaine as a child and the the third Gwaine becoming a man. I really do hope you will enjoy this story, I put a lot of work into it and actually did some research (crazy). So enough of my drivel :)**

**EDIT: This story was formally called 'From Humble Beginnings'. **

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><p>Part one: Anna and Gareth<p>

**Chapter one: And So it begins.**

Life had once been good for Anna; she was the daughter of a prominent Knight of Camelot with finery and servants at the tip of the dainty little fingers. She had had more gold and dresses than she knew what to do with it, and she had been set to marry a young knight in a few years. Life for Anna was going to be easy, life would always be kind to Anna- or so she thought. But then, one dark stormy night everything changed in a split second and she lost everything. The King, furious with the loss of his Queen banned all magic and began to execute those talented enough to practice it. Since she was a small child Anna had been able to do magic and she had never hidden it; she had never needed to. Now however she was on the run. Fleeing from a man who she had once looked upon as an uncle. That life of finery would never be forgotten by Anna, and it was the cause of everything to come. One man had changed her destiny and placed her on a new path. Anna would be forever lost and careering into disaster, with no way of finding the brakes because that's now life is.

Anna was only young, a mere fifteen years of age when she was cast out with no one to care for her. Lost and alone she had stumbled for days through woodland and villages before she staggered onto a man named Gareth of Lyonesse's land. He was just a young man himself, taking over the estate after the early death of him father. He was training to be a knight and at only seventeen years of age he was one of the best in King Lot's land and certainly one of the most noble. So a young and terrified girl stumbled into the arms of a brave and strong man- quite literally. A man she felt could protect her and so she stayed with him. The young damsel saved by her very own prince charming.

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><p>Anna was a pretty young girl and this attribute had led to many possible suitors lining up to marry her. Anna was blessed with long curly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The face of a cherub her father used to say as he tweaked her nose with a large smile. She was slender and had a perfect posture. Anna in short was beautiful.<p>

Slowly the months passed but she did not dare tell him the truth, dare not tell him from whence she came or of her magic. He only knew the name she gave herself and that she had no one to care for her. It was an extremely lonely existence for her.; to go from being loved and adored to being nothing but a lost and forgotten peasant girl.

So here was Anna now, tidying her landlord's house while he visited the King, he would be back soon she thought glancing at the darkening sky outside the window. It was at these times when the house was empty that Anna liked to use magic, a flash of her eyes and the pots were clean. A few mumbled words and the brush swept the floor. Anna sunk into the wooden chair and sighed. Her life lacked the excitement it once held and Gareth (though a caring and brave man) could not give her what she wished. She was trapped in this life in this useless existence. The days till Gareth's return passed slowly until, at last he walked through the door.

"Gareth, how was your trip, any news from King Lot." She inquired quickly. She knew he had been looking forward to seeing the King, but he had not told her why. He looked at her with a grin stretched across his face

'He made me a knight my dear Anna. I am a knight!' He cried victoriously sweeping her into a hug. She giggled at his excitement. Gareth lifted her off her feet "He said I would have done my father proud."

"Congratulations, though it was only a matter of time." She said to appease him. He had shown her one night his talent with a sword, and she had been impressed and that was a hard feat to achieve. She knew that he could give her father a run for his money and her father was the strongest knight she knew. He released her but they were still stood closely, their noses almost touching. Anna looked up at him, her eyelashes lowered dangerously. With a soft cough Gareth stepped back from her and took a seat at the large mahogany table blushing slightly. Anna quickly busied herself with making a pot of tea for Gareth, his servants had not yet returned from their leave. She placed the pot in front of him with a soft smile as she too took a seat at the table.

"King Lot fears for the borders, we will have to keep a lookout." Gareth said as he sipped his tea appreciatively. "He has asked me personally to monitor all those entering and leaving the area, since we are so close to the border."

"Why is that?" Anna asked as she poured herself a cup. Anna was pretending to be interested but like most conversations about knights, she found it dull and boring.

"He fears that people escaping Camelot could start causing trouble here." Gareth said conversationally but carefully observing Anna over the rim of his cup. Anna stiffened slightly at the word before forcing herself to relax.

"You never did tell me where you came from." He said his brown chestnut eyes boring in hers from across the table.

"No I did not." She said coldly. He blinked quickly for a second before deciding to leave the matter. Some things with Anna were just better left unsaid; she had the habit of clamming up and then avoiding the person like a plague for the rest of the day. The rest of the day passed in quiet but comfortable silence. They were like that, Anna and Gareth. Words did not need to be spoken for them to feel at ease with the other. They had been that way since the very beginning maybe it was Gareth's laid back attitude to life or simply because they clicked. It was nice though to not have to make an effort but just to sit in comfort occasionally smiling at the other before eyes glanced back at their book or report.

"Good night Gareth" Anna muttered to a sleepy Gareth as she left the room.

"Night'"Anna' he mumbled in reply. The night was cold and the wind rattled through the house. Anna walked up the stairs and settled in for the night. Anna wrapped herself deeper into the duvet shivering as she fell asleep. The second she was asleep, a nightmare began.

_A woman with black inky hair was crowned on a throne. A man that she felt she knew was running through woods, chased by bandits. A woman stood at an altar shouting a spell. Falling, falling._

_A boy, a small child, crying as his mother sobbed. A dirty blanket, a bed covered in blood. Darkness pain. Joy._

_A woman, a woman with a price. A woman with blonde hair stood over a man, raising her hand to kill him before she paused, eyeing him in shock._

_Why do you hide from us? Why deny who you are child?' The voice sneered in her head. 'You belong with us…'_

_The darkness cleared and she could see a misty island, in the middle of a lake 'We are waiting'. Then a woman's scream a heart wrenching scream and a baby's wail._

Anna awoke in a cold sweat, shivering from the cold she snuggled back into her covers and tried to sleep again. When it became clear that she would no longer be getting any sleep she staggered into the kitchen where the servants were making breakfast. Only three servants were employed by Gareth, a far cry from her families ten. They were polite and friendly as all good servants were but they also shared a bond with Gareth that she did not understand. She was not waited on by them, purely because as far as they knew she was a peasant. That and she didn't want to be waited on by Gareth's servants, she owed him enough already. She nodded politely to Maddie the cook and Alec and made herself and Gareth some tea. Anna picked up the tray and took it into Gareth's study, Gareth was bent over his desk as he wrote up some of his reports, the feather of his quill tickling his chin slightly. He noticed at her and smiled, beckoning her to come and sit with him. So Anna carefully manoeuvred the tray to the small desk and placed it softly down, being careful to avoid all his paperwork. She then dragged a chair from across the room to sit beside him.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Gareth laughed as he poured himself a cup.

"Maybe you were good in a past life?"

"I'm good in this life, thank you very much!" Gareth said jovially as he set his quill down and stretched slightly.

"I suppose so" Anna said as she mock considered it before shaking her head "No definitely not!"

"Why would that be my fair lady?"

"You…You flirt, with everyone! Sometimes I think you'd flirt with a horse if you thought it would give you a kiss!"

"I have flirted with some real horses in my time." Gareth laughed at his own joke and leaned back on the chair. "Why, you jealous?"

"Most certainly not, you can flirt with whoever you wish." Anna said haughtily looking away and raising her chin slightly.

"Is that so?" Gareth asked her, Anna gave a firm nod whilst looking in the opposite direction. "So if I go into the village and start handing out flowers you won't care?" Anna's jaw clenched but apart from that she said nothing. "Oh come on Anna! Tell me? Would you be jealous?"

"Yes, but only a little bit. Like a tiny, itsy bitsy bit." Anna confessed in a rush, demonstrating with her fingers just how little an amount.

"So you are jealous?"

"A tiny bit."

"So you're jealous of my flirtatious attitude?"

"Yes." Anna said through gritted teeth causing Gareth to jump up and down in his seat with glee.

"I'll tell you what Anna, I shall only flirt with you, how's that sound?"

"I don't want you to flirt with me!" Anna exclaimed causing Gareth to frown in confusion "I just don't want you flirting with anyone!"

"Right."

"You need to learn to control yourself."

"I am the bees knees of control."

"You aren't."

"I am" replied Gareth adamantly.

"Aren't."

"Are!"

"This is pointless" Anna huffed crossing her arms firmly across her chest, Gareth's eyes hovered just above her crossed arms for a second.

"So this means I win right?" Gareth said gruffly, his face flaming red as he consciously kept his gaze locked with hers.

"I suppose so." She muttered "I shall leave you to your work, heavens knows you get distracted enough. Anna stood up, gave a brief smile at Gareth and left her untouched tea on the desk. Gareth sighed as he stared at her arse as she left the room. Once she had gone, Gareth slammed his head onto the desk and then moaned in pain.

"Stupid, stupid Gareth." He muttered to himself. Somehow, admiration for Anna had turned into something more, lust most certainly. Love? Hopefully not. She was far too young for him. He had far too many duties. But he longed for her, more than anything. He could only hope that maybe she felt the same, but he doubted it. Anna was so caught up in her own world she seemed to forget that others existed. He doubted she had even looked twice at him or that she ever would. There was something about her though, something he just found ever so interesting. Maybe it was the mystery of her past or the grief and loneliness in her eyes. He wasn't sure but he needed to stop anything from happening, because unlike what he said to her he most certainly was not in control. Gareth sighed, lifted his head back off the table and picked up his quill; maybe doing his reports would take his mind off it.

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><p>Gareth was with the knights the next day, for practice. It was hard work but he felt relieved and in control to be out of the house and with his trusty blade in his hand. He was duelling Sir Wilfred, an old friend of his who was a couple of years older.<p>

Gareth swung his sword towards Wilfred's chest but he brought the blade up and shielded the blow. Gareth took a step forward and swung towards his head, Wilfred danced back with a cocky smile on his face. Gareth could feel his frustration starting to get the best of him. Suddenly Wilfred's sword swung towards Gareth and he took a hasty step back and threw up a block, Wilfred's smile was gone now his face a pure mask of concentration.

"Best you can do Garry?"

"Wilf, I'm hardly even sweating."

Gareth was on the defence; Wilfred was pushing towards him making him jump out of the way of his blunt sword. Wilfred was stronger than Gareth, but not as talented. Deciding to use his smaller frame to his advantage, Gareth ducked under his raised arm and before Wilfred could turn to strike him, he tapped the back of Wilfred's armour.

"I win." Gareth puffed pulling off his gloves and pushing his sword into the soft mud.

"I would have had you if you hadn't cheated." pouted Wilfred.

"I didn't cheat."

"You ducked under my arm that has to be cheating." Wilfred complained "I almost had you."

"If you weren't so slow…" Gareth insinuated.

"Why you little…" growled Wilfred as he made to grab Gareth, but he'd danced away laughing before he got the chance. "How are things with this little girly going then?"

"Fine, why do you ask?" Gareth asked suspiciously narrowing his eyes at Wilfred's all too innocent face.

"Just wondering if you had fallen for her yet."

"I have not. Why would I?" Gareth fumed.

"You fall all the maidens."

"I don't, I think you are thinking of you." Gareth crossed his arms and frowned at Wilfred.

"What about the girl, what was her name again?" Wilfred asked himself poking his tongue out of his mouth "That's it, Katherine."

"What about her?"

"You never used to shut up about her. It was Katy this, my little purple flower petal this." Wilfred teased leaning forward to poke the angry Gareth in the chest.

"I never called her little purple flower petal." Gareth said quietly.

"Then after that there was Louise… My little Loo-Loo you used to sa-"

"Right, I get the point. I may have been easily taken in by women in the past but I am a man now. Not that I ever even kissed them" Gareth pointed out causing Wilfred to burst into laughter.

"That's because and I quote 'you are the most foul lecherous disgusting little boy I have ever met' was that Louise?" Wilfred chortled.

"No, that was Helen I think." Gareth admitted with a smile of his own. "Not that you can say much about it, you are still single are you not?"

"I have no intention of having a woman, too much effort. They cost too." He said in a mock whisper.

"Is that just because your latest 'conquest' turned you down?"

"Perhaps. But we have drifted off topic, you and this lass?"

"I don't know, she doesn't seem to really notice me." Gareth said with a shrug, women were far too complex for his liking.

"Ah, how can she not notice you when she's living in your house?" Wilfred asked with a frown.

"You tell me mate, you tell me."

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><p><strong>AN Hope you en****joyed the first chapter, please review and let me know what you thought. Stay happy and healthy guys. **

_**The adventure continues next week...**_


	2. Into the fire

A/N Enjoy and stuff. I own nothing but some of the characters.

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><p><strong><span>Chapter two: Into the fire<span>**

Anna was plagued by nightmares for the next couple of weeks, she had never suffered from them before but now she could barely sleep.

She didn't understand her dreams, she supposed her magic was starting to manifest to seer dreams, perhaps from lack of use but she had never seen things in her dreams before, she didn't know how she knew her dreams were going to happen but she just did. The dreams varied from awful to the average nightmare but the flashes of them meant she wasn't even sure when they would occur. Different people were in them, some she knew and others she didn't. She had seen her mother's death five times but each time with slightly different variables. In one her mother was burned and another one she died of a fever, but in all her dreams her mother died and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. But the screams and the blood had begun to haunt her waking hours, she became a shadow of the woman she once was, floating from room to room with a far off expression as the previous night's dream replayed over and over in her head. Scared of what this meant and unable to confide in anyone, she feared the worst.

She didn't want to die.

_Blood, so much blood. Soaking into the sheets and onto the floor. The room was dark, lit by only candlelight. The room was made of stone and bare apart from the bed on which she lay. She tried to use her magic, it was bound. She cried the feeling of helplessness taking over her entire body as a dark haired sorceress stepped towards her._

_'Shh it's all over now, do not fear.' She smoothed the sweaty hair on her forehead and gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head, 'You are safe with me, you always were.'_

_The image disappeared and a new one appeared she instantly knew it was after the last scene. She was running; running like lightening through a forest. She was cradling something to her chest, clutching it as though it was the most precious thing in the world as she ran franticly. She needed to be safe, she couldn't stop. She nearly tripped before she reached the house of a man she once knew. She let out a relieved sigh, all would be well._

_Death, surrounded by it. It hurt, hurt so much. Blood staining her hands as a child began to cry, his dark eyes glaring sadly at her. So much hurt, so much pain. So many mistakes. Gareth, Gareth was running, a sword in his hand and the banners of Caerleon floating in the distance. He charged his enemy but then he was down, a knife through his chest. He gasped. Blood. Its sticky redness flowing out of him like a river into a lake. He life force fading, he closed his eyes and drew his last breath._

Anna woke with a start, her heart pounding. Without thinking she stumbled out of her lukewarm bed and into the frigid air. Silently she walked towards Gareth's rooms; she opened the door and could see him sprawled on his four poster bed, revelling in the calm and safe feeling washing over her she walked closer to the bed. He suddenly jolted awake.

'Anna?' He whispered squinting at her, Anna silently nodded. 'What's wrong? Is everything okay?' Anna suddenly felt silly, like a small child. Sensing how unsure she was Gareth lifted the covers and beckoned her to come forward, which she did stumbling towards the bed. She climbed in and laid on his chest feeling his arms wrap around her. It was a nice feeling, warm and safe. 'Go to sleep Anna' he murmured his breath tickling her ear. Nodding into his chest Anna finally drifted into dreamless sleep.

When she awoke the next day, Gareth was staring at her. It was oddly discomforting so she slowly sat up.

'What was wrong last night Anna?' He questioned softly brushing her hair away from her face.

'Nothing.' She replied looking away from him.

'Please Anna, just tell me.' He begged stroking her cheek.

'I just keep having nightmares.'

'What about?'

'I doesn't matter they are only silly dreams.' She said trying to pull away from him, but he held her against him.

'Anna I know.' He said quietly.

'Know what?'

'That you have magic.' Anna froze in fear trying to wiggle away from him but he held her even tighter against him. 'Anna it's okay.'

'How do you know?' She asked fearfully.

'It wasn't hard to guess Anna, you came here just after the purge began.'

'Oh.' Anna bit her lip but Gareth smiled at her and held her hand.

'So these nightmares, are they seer dreams?'

'I don't know Gareth.' She looked up at him brushing her blonde locks out of her face 'you really don't mind?'

"Not at all, Anna." Their faces were so close, almost touching. Anna lent forward and kissed him softly. He began to kiss her back pushing her back onto the bed. His lips trailing down her neck and softly biting. 'Is this what you want Anna?' He softly asked her.

"Yes" she whispered back her eyes ablaze in want, spurred on by this Gareth climbed on top of her.

Hours later both fully satisfied they lay cuddling in bed.

"Anna this can't happen again." Gareth said sadly.

"I know." Anna replied, she knew that she did not love him and he did not love her. She didn't feel too bad about it either. She had wanted him tonight for her own selfish needs and had not even considered that this was an act reserved for married couples. She had just wanted him to make her feel wanted. Just for now at least. It had worked for those few hours and she felt much happier than she had been before.

"I'm sorry, Anna." He said getting out of bed and staring wistfully at her. How long had he wanted this, but now it was a mistake, it was so wrong. It was all his fault, she was too young to properly understand. Too naïve to know… he however should have known better. But he let his emotions rule over his head and now he would have to pay the consequences.

"I wanted it as much of you Gareth, you have not taken advantage do not fear." In fact Anna thought, she had wanted it more than him and in some respects she had took advantage of him. It was her after all who entered his bed, it had all happened because she had wanted it to.

"Thank you Anna" he said giving her a soft kiss on the cheek before leaving the room hurriedly. Anna frowned at the place he had just been, why did he feel the need to rush to get away from her, had she upset him in some way? Anna wrapped herself in the bed sheets suddenly feeling vulnerable and scared. What had she done? What would change because of her selfish action?

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><p><strong>AN What do you think? Anna and Gareth? Match made in heaven? Review please**

**The adventure continues next week...**


	3. Different

**A/N Thanks for keeping with this story, even if it seems nothing much is happening. It will soon, I promise! **

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><p><strong>Chapter three: <strong>**Different**

In the next month everything changed, conversations with Gareth were stilted and awkward with every conversation ending with him dashing for the door. Anna just wanted everything to go back to normal. She couldn't understand why it had to suddenly become so awkward between them- yes they had made a mistake but surely they could get past that? To Anna Gareth's behaviour made no sense to her, he seemed to be afraid of her. That in itself was a silly thought, Anna was not scary. She had never harmed anyone and never would. Gareth was also staying away from the house much more than normal, spending time with the other knights and going away on hunts. On the nights he did return it was late into the night, and long after Anna herself had retired to bed. Anna sighed as she made her bed, the midday sun glaring on her back. She found that this was one mundane task she actually enjoyed since her fall from Lady to peasant.

"Anna you needn't do that, I was just about to." Gemma scolded. Gemma worked as the household servant and she was the only servant in the house to treat Anna with respect and like a friend. Anna suspected that she pitied her, a thought that made her stomach turn. Gemma was in her late thirties with mousy brown hair tied in a bun, she was friendly and cheerful with a rather plump middle. She also had four young children that she liked to talk about; Anna felt she knew more than she ever wanted to about Gemma's children.

"Its fine Gemma, I enjoy it" Anna placated her with a little smile, huffing Gemma set the basket she was carrying down on the chair with a sigh. Gemma stared at Anna for a while making her feel uncomfortable in the elders gaze, as though Gemma could see into her soul, all her worries and fears.

"Anna, may I speak plainly?' Gemma asked stepping closer towards Anna. Anna nodded her head slowly, her blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders as she picked at her nails in her nervousness. "What is going on with you and Sir Gareth?" Gemma blurted it out she blushed bright red and as Anna raised her eyes she looked away "I know it's none of my business, but I am worried about you." Anna herself was just shocked; no one in Camelot would have the nerve to ask such a personal question.

"We made a mistake and now he's avoiding me and I just don't understand why he would ignore me. I haven't done anything wrong, I swear" Anna's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh come here my dear" Gemma said softly enveloping a now sobbing Anna into her arms, Gemma smoothed the hair on her hair and squeezed her tighter. "It's okay my dear, men are silly- especially the knights don't you worry, he will soon come around. You'll see." Just then, in the comforting arms of the older woman Anna felt nostalgic, remembering all the times she had been held and comforted by her mother, and how she could no longer be comforted by her anymore.

"I'm just so lonely." Anna mumbled into Gemma's shoulder.

"I understand" Anna jumped apart from Gemma with her eyes suddenly shinning with anger rather than sadness.

"No you don't. No one does. I have no one anymore, nothing. Not even my own name and status. Instead I'm here alone, under the thumb of a knight who is avoiding me." Anna looked suddenly horrified as though she had said too much, but Gemma just looked confused, she scrutinised her for a moment before speaking again.

"What are you running from?"

"Nothing."

"If you keep it bottled up you will eventually become bitter."

"I lost everything because of a selfish man. I have every right to be bitter."

"It doesn't mean you should, Anna"

"I just want things to go back to normal. I want to go home and see my father, talk to my mother. See my friends. Have everything back to the way it was- the way it should be." Anna moaned angrily, sounding like a spoilt child.

"In life things rarely go the way they should Anna. It is one of life's lessons. You are no longer the person you were Anna, you can't just go back to that person anymore. You can't go back and get a hug from your mum a kiss from your dad. You can no longer have that Anna, the sooner you except this, the sooner you can move on."

"But I don't want to move on. I liked how I was before. I liked my life before; if it wasn't for him I could have it all back."

"Pinning it all on one man won't make you feel any better."

"But it does" Anna gave a smile that Gemma found chilling, sinister and dark and a side to Anna she had never seen before. She was suddenly scared of the girl, scared of the girl she was trying to help.

"How does it."

"He is the one I blame; he is the one that will pay. Someday he will get his retribution, he has harmed too many innocent souls to not. When that day comes maybe I will finally have some peace."

"Anna, living for revenge is not living at all." Gemma regarded the girl sadly and Anna bristled in anger, she didn't want pity.

"I don't need pity."

"You are hardening your heart, and for that I will pity you. You need other people, they are the only way anyone can ever survive." Gemma left the room leaving Anna to her troubled thoughts.

Anna blamed Uther as did everyone he harmed; he was the reason for her situation. He had killed her friends. She had heard them as she ran; the terrified screams and the acrid choke of fire and death. He was to blame for it all, all because he wanted a son. Now because of this thousands of her kind were dying, in hiding and who's to say what he will do next? Is anyone safe? He had proved he was nothing but a tyrant King, a man she had once respected was now nothing but the dirt under her feet. She would not get her revenge, but she wouldn't stop someone else from doing it. All tyrants eventually come to sticky ends and Uther would be no different. Anna flopped onto the bed, absentmindedly making the chair float across the room with a twitch of her hand and a soft mutter as she mulled over everything that Gemma had said to her. Some of it had made sense, but Anna had always been an angry child. Selfish her mother used to say. Even though Anna wanted to be a good person and push the anger down, but she also didn't want to let it go. It was better than the cold emptiness of loneliness. Coming to the conclusion that pushing the anger down would be better for now she resigned to ambush Gareth when he returned and force him into a conversation with her, just so she knew what she had down wrong, if she had done anything at all.

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><p>Since that night with Anna, Gareth hadn't had the chance to talk to Wilfred, they kept missing each other. The man was impossible. But finally he could.<p>

"Is there a reason you look like your sucking a lemon or are you that pleased to see me" Wilfred laughed as he threw down his sword on the bench. They were in the armoury and it was unusually empty, the racks filled with gleaming swords shinning in the dim light of the small room.

"I, I need to tell you something." Gareth half stuttered as he pulled off his armour.

"Spit it out man"

"Me and Anna slept together." He said in a rush, looking guiltily at the floor.

"You horny fucker" Wilfred chortled.

"This isn't funny, Wilf"

"So what's the matter you bedded her, wasn't the best choice you ever made but you do have a small brain, so I can't really blame you."

"But I shouldn't have."

"Probably not, but it hardly matters what you should of done now does it?" the matter of fact way that Wilfred spoke reassured Gareth slightly. "How did this even happen?"

"She climbed into bed with me." He confessed.

"That little wanton!"

"She had a nightmare Wilf, she wanted comfort."

"I'm sure she did." Wilf was holding his side with laughter and Gareth was silently fuming, Wilfred was making light of his misery.

"Look, I just feel so bad!"

"Get over yourself; you both are old enough to make a decision. Stop being a twonk."

"Am I being a twonk?" Gareth asked. He just needed someone on his side, Wilfred simply rolled his eyes.

"By being like this…yes. Just go talk to the poor bird."

"You think I should?"

"Yes, you are so annoying."

"Okay, I will talk to her." Gareth decided standing up and heading out of the room.

"Finally" shouted Wilfred at his retreating back.

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><p>Anna spent the rest of the afternoon pottering around her small room and reading. Gareth had books she had never seen before, and as an avid scholar she had purged the library in Camelot of most of the books, learning about everything from history to novels and fairy tales. It was all extremely interesting to her. Books had always had a hold on her, from being a small child and sitting in her father's lap as he read book after book to her. Not children's books, intellectual books brimming with information. But she had found that here in Caerleon there were books she had never even heard of and was eager to read and learn. The differences in history and the arguments on creation were different to that of Camelot's. It made her wonder about how much of history was true or if it was just exaggerations of the same facts. Late evening she finally heard Gareth come home. Jumping up and smoothing down her simple dress she scampered down the stairs to head him off.<p>

"Gareth" she called to him, startled he turned to face her. His face was flushed from the cold outside and he was still wearing his heavy cloak, so she cautiously walked to him and unfastened it for him removing the item and folding it before putting it on the hook. The hallway was dim and she was suddenly scared, what if he ran off and didn't want to talk to her.

"Anna" he said carefully looking at her worriedly.

"Please Gareth, please just talk to me." Anna begged him fisting the front of his shirt softly.

"What do you want me to say?" He said gruffly removing her hands.

"I just want things to go back to how they were"

"They can't Anna."

"But why not?"

"What we did, changes everything. It was wrong. You know it is an act only acceptable within marriage, or do your _kind_ not understand that?" He said harshly, Anna flinched away from him as though struck staring at him in shock and horror. He looked instantly guilty and bit his lip.

"Yes I know that." Anna said coldly, her voice shaking with undisguised anger "but what we did is done, there is nothing we can do about it now. So why can't we just move on?"

"To you it might have meant nothing, but to me it did. I can't go back to how we were not after that."

"What can I do to make it better, for you to forgive me for my momentarily insanity? For your information it did mean something to me, to me it was two people caught up in the moment blinded by lust. I care for you as I know you care for me. We just don't love each other. But this isn't a crime. We can but it behind us. You know we can."

"Perhaps" he said slowly "but I need time." He needed time to control his feelings for her, it was clear she would never feel about him how he felt about her so it was best just to keep his distance, to heal and recover away from her.

"Take your time, I just need you again, I need your friendship Gareth." She said truthfully, he nodded with a smile. He turned and began to walk away before turning back.

"Do I need to buy new books or have you got a few more to read?" He jested, it was minimal effort but it made Anna's heart jilt, he was joking. It meant he was trying.

"You have been paying attention then?"

"How could I not, with a beauty like yourself residing in my home" he winked and carried on walking up the stairs. He couldn't help but pay attention when she was in his every waking thought.

As Anna lay on her bed later that night her heart was much lighter. Everything would be fine, eventually. 'Good things come to those who wait' that is what her mother had always said. With that she slipped into a dreamless sleep, free for once of the nightmares that plagued her.

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><p>Things were slowly getting better as Sir Gareth's; it was just getting back to how it was in the early days, when he first took her in. It had been four months since she had been forced to flee her home, in that time she had changed dramatically. Her hair was now untamed, she was constantly slightly dishevelled and her dresses were plain and made from cheap material. A far cry from the silk dresses she was used to. She'd also put on a little weight since being at sir Gareth's- oh if her mother could only see her now. She would cry in disgust more likely than not.<p>

Stepping into the kitchen and inhaling the aroma of Maddie's cooking she made herself a drink. Maddie still regarded Anna with suspicion because she seemed to believe that Anna was just after Gareth's money and power (which Anna found ridiculous Gareth was hardly rich in comparison to what her family was and most definitely not powerful). Maddie had worked for Gareth's family for forty years, here not only in the service of Gareth's father but his father as well. She had worked here since she was a child herself and was almost a second mother figure to Gareth. She was extremely protective of the house and the family and had more to say than Anna believed a servant should. In her family such behaviour would have them fired on the spot or in the stocks.

"Good Morning Maddie" Anna said brightly.

"Morning" Maddie all but grumbled.

"Do you need any help?" Anna said hopefully.

"No thank you"

"Oh, okay." With that Anna was shooed from the room. That left Anna with nothing to do for the entire day so she decided to go for a short walk to the forest just outside Gareth's lands. Gareth owned a 20 acre plot of land within King Lots lands. This area had been controlled by Gareth's family for hundreds of years. On the land was a small village, Craelic. There were a few farmers and the land was prosperous.

The forest was about a two mile walk from the house and the forest itself was beautiful .Evergreen pines created a beautiful sheltered canopy and haven for wildlife the area was brimming with animals of all shapes and sizes. It was a serene and almost magical place Anna had only been to the forest a couple of times during her stay in Caerleon but it had soon become her favourite place. It was the only place she was truly free to use her magic, she didn't have any of her magic books she had had to leave them all behind. But she could practice all she knew and all she had learnt from her old teachers. With her powers she could call down rain, rustle the trees and levitate, this was all done with minimum effort she had mastered it years ago. But more complex incantations needed power and concentration she sometimes lacked. If she had her teachers she could still progress at the rate she had been but without them she was struggling. But her yearning to learn persisted and made her want to better her magic. Curious about her seer abilities she wandered over to the small pool surrounded by rocks, looking into the rocks she closed her eyes and concentrated picturing her mother. When she opened her eyes the reflection in the water was not that of her own. Instead she could see her mother, in their home in Camelot cradling her stomach. Her stomach was protruding slightly and as she looked at it she realised. Her mother was pregnant. With a replacement child since she had lost her eldest. Anger like never before rolled across her and she slapped the image in the water with her hand, causing it to disappear and waves to roll in the small pool reflecting her own turbulent emotions. The sky thundered and it began to rain as her tears began to fall.

How could her mother just forget about her and move on. Have another child. How could she do that to her? Why wouldn't she just flee with her? Instead she left her on her own at only fifteen. She was old enough to marry, but she didn't feel old enough to be on her own without her mother to look after her. She thought her mother had cared about her. That she loved her, obviously not.

Anna flopped down on the soft ground and stared up at the darkening sky. She had been her longer than she thought. The rain fell softly on her face and she felt suddenly calmed. Closing her eyes Anna relaxed into the ground feeling all her worries leave her. She wasn't even aware she was shivering.

Anna awoke hours later, frozen stiff and drenched. She tried to sit up but found she just didn't have the energy. She knew she needed to get inside quickly else she would die from the cold, raising her hand weakly she managed to hold a flame in her hand and held it over herself trying to dry her dress. It dried slightly and Anna realised it would take long for it to dry properly and she just didn't have the energy to keep the simple spell on for long. Forcing her protesting body to its feet she staggered to a tree and leant on it breathing deeply. Making her feet move one after the other seemed an impossible thought but she did. Slowly she began to walk towards the house leaning on the trees as she passed through the forest. It was a very slow process and she seemed to not be making any progress, as she walked the distance seemed to become even father and she just couldn't imagine being able to make it. When she was finally out of the forest she made the decision to shed her dress. She still had the under garments on and was covered to her knees. But without the heavy and freezing material she had more energy to stagger up the hill. She had made it about a mile before she tripped and fell over. Lying on the floor with her arms wrapped around herself Anna gave up; giving herself over to Mother Nature she drifted unconscious.

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><p>AN Thanks for reading, the Adventure continues next week!


	4. Bitterness

**Authors Note: ****Thankyou to everyone who has reviewed or favourited, it means a lot! I am glad you seem to be enjoying the story. I know this is a quick update but I can't help it, I enjoy this story far to much. On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, I do however own some of the characters I invented, however most of them are based on the legends and are still not mine. If anyone want to give me the rights to Merlin though that'd be great.**

**Chapter 4- I'm what?**

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><p>Anna woke up feeling warm and cosy, with no part of her skin exposed to the cold. Keeping her eyes shut she snuggled deeper into the warm cocoon. She could never remember feeling this comfortable in her life; all wrapped up in warmth and safety she felt very sleepy and felt herself drifting back to sleep before she realised there were people talking around her.<p>

"-e was very lucky" Came a woman's voice.

"I know; I just can't imagine what she was thinking of wandering around in the rain like that." That defiantly sounded like Gareth's voice, his voice as soft as ever was filled with anguish and worry.

"Maddie said she had been out all day, maybe she just got caught out in the rain."

"I don't know, it makes me wonder if she did this on purpose." Gareth's voice was filled with pain and Anna felt suddenly bad. Which was irrational, she hadn't done it on purpose.

"Why would she do it on purpose?" She suddenly felt a cold hand on her forehead and flinched away "her fever is going down." The hand retracted and Anna was glad, she didn't like being touched.

"I don't know why she would. I just don't understand why she was out in the rain not wearing a dress."

"I doubt she's suicidal" the woman's voice was suddenly harsh.

"Wouldn't you be in her situation?"

"She is stronger than that Sir, I can tell you that."

"What do you mean?" But whatever the woman was going to say Anna didn't find out as she drifted once again into sleep.

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><p>Hours later Anna gasped awake trying to shake away yet another nightmare, this one had included her mother with a little baby in her arms with dark hair and green eyes. The opposite of Anna, Anna supposed this new baby would be perfect. Everything Anna never was. Probably wouldn't have a drop of magic in her. Anna looked around the room, she was in her own room there was a bowl of water with a cloth in it at the side of her bed and she had more blankets on her than she wanted, she reached down to tug one of them off but there was a weight on the blanket. Looking down she could see the top of Gareth's head, his brown hair splayed on the bed. Anna smiled at the sight, he looked uncomfortable and he was going to wake up with an awful crick in his neck but she was glad that he had stayed with her. Anna fidgeted and tried to find a more comfortable position and as she did she accidently woke the sleeping Gareth. As he sat up blearily rubbing his eyes, Anna felt a sudden jolt of affection for him. His hair was sticking up on its end and his eyes were drooping in tiredness. Looking up at her he realised that she was awake.<p>

"Anna" he said jovially "I'm glad your back among the land of the living"

"What happened?"

"I found you unconscious in the dark, you'd been out there hours Anna. I thought you were dead." Gareth looked away into the distance and he shuddered slightly as though remembering something unpleasant.

"I fell asleep in the rain, I tried to get back but I was too tired." Anna said softly "I tried to get back I promise."

"I know"

"I thought I was going to die."

"You nearly did" Gareth said grimly "You had a fever for two days, we were worried- didn't think you would survive it." Gareth looked out of the window and stood up suddenly. "I don't want to have to go but Lot want's a group of knights to go patrol the borders. I will be back within a few days." He leant forward and pressed a kiss onto the top of her head. "Be safe Anna, get well soon for me."

"Of course, I shall see you soon." She smiled at him and he turned and headed for the door "Gareth" she called, he turned back to face her with a furrow in his brow "Thank you, for everything." His face broke out in a wide grin.

"It's an honour to save a damsel such as yourself milady" he joked with a silly bow. Anna laughed at him and gave him a soft wave before he headed out of the door.

After Gareth had left Anna threw back the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her bare feet touching the floor Anna stood up shakily, after being in a bed so long she wanted to stretch her legs. Taking that first step Anna felt like she was walking in water, she almost overbalanced but she managed to remain upright as she staggered across the room to the window. Relieved to have reached her destination Anna sat down heavily on the comfy window seat. Leaning forward towards the window she could see Gareth's figure in the distance, he was carrying his brown travelling bag and his green cape was flowing over the back of his brown mare. Anna pressed her hand to the glass wistfully, wishing he didn't have to leave her. Turning and surveying the room Anna sighed; another few days of boredom with no one to talk to. Drumming her fingers on her lap Anna tried to think of something constructive to do but could think of nothing. So instead she turned her stare to the world outside her window.

The rolling hills stretched out as far as the eye could see, with little hamlets dotted throughout, it was defiantly a beautiful place to live. In some ways it was more beautiful than Camelot and her father's land. But it just didn't compare, it couldn't. This wasn't where she learnt to ride her first horse, and fell off and broke her arm. It wasn't the same place. No matter how wonderful the people and the place was, it would never compare and that was a horrible thought. She could never go back and nowhere would be as brilliant. She would spend the rest of her life wishing she could go back. Maybe one day she could but it would be a long way off.

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><p>Later in the afternoon Gemma entered the room carrying a tray of simple food; breads and fruit. Anna suddenly found herself to be starving. Walking over Anna took the tray off Gemma and set it on the table. She expected Gemma to leave but instead she was hovering looking extremely awkward. Anna raised her eyebrows at her as a prompt for her to say whatever inappropriate thing she wanted.<p>

"Sorry, I just wanted to say you were really lucky you nearly died" Gemma bit her lip.

"I know it was very silly of me. It won't happen again."

"That's good I guess I was just worried you would lose the baby" Gemma said smiling at her "luckily not." Anna froze, what baby? She didn't have a baby. Gemma's eyes widened in horror and her hands rose to cup her mouth. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd know." She gasped.

"Know what?"

"That you're pregnant." Anna froze, one hand coming to cup her almost flat stomach and the other to her mouth.

"But how?"

"Well..."

"I know how!" Anna shouted "How do you know?"

"Anna I have four children, I have seen numerous women when pregnant. You are displaying the early symptoms."

"Symptoms? I have no symptoms!"

"You've been going to the toilet more than usual, you have put on weight." Gemma stared at her "Did you miss your you-know"

"No!" Anna paused mulling it over "I mean yes, but I don't know!"

"And all this happened a month and a half after your relations with Gareth."

"How do you know about that?" Anna said furiously blushing bright red.

"Anna it wasn't hard to work out" Gemma rolled her eyes.

"But why me, I'm too young for a child!"

"You aren't the first one my dear and you shan't be the last" Gemma said sadly stepping forward to embrace Anna, but she flinched away moving to the other side of the room shaking.

"But what can I do!"

"You must tell Sir Gareth and he will do the noble thing" Gemma said wisely.

"What's the 'noble thing' Gemma?"

"Marry you of course."

"He can't, I'm just a commoner."

"We both know that you aren't a commoner." Gemma scoffed.

"What, how?"

"The way you hold yourself" she paused before adding "the fact you didn't know how to make your bed before you came here."

"But I can't marry Gareth! I don't love him, and I care for him too much to tie him down to me!"

"He will want to care for this child, and he must keep appearances."

"Then I won't tell him!"

"I think all too soon it will become quite apparent" Gemma said sarcastically tilting her head to scrutinize Anna's shaking form.

"I'll tell him I've got fat!" Anna rambled franticly "He's a man, what does he know?"

"Anna don't you think he has the right?"

"No!" Anna yelled "This isn't what is best for him."

"Who are you to decide?" Gemma said sharply narrowing her eyes at Anna.

"I, I don't know." Anna began to cry, clutching her face as the tears trickled down her cheeks. "I just want him to be happy, and I don't want to marry him!"

"Why?"

"Because this isn't what I wanted in life!" Anna screamed at Gemma pulling on her own hair. "I wanted to find a nice man, one my parents decided was suitable in a few years. I had it all planned!"

"I've told you before; life doesn't always go the way we plan." Gemma still didn't approach her, keeping a wary distance from Anna as though afraid.

"It does for me!" Anna screamed the vases on the tables shaking dangerously. Gemma's eyes were now wide with fear, but trying to hide it she hastily backed out of the room.

"Apparently not anymore"

Gemma left Anna fuming, angry at everyone. She could trace the blame back to one man, and her hatred for him increased tenfold. He was still destroying her life even now, when she wasn't even in his kingdom anymore.

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><p>Gareth had finally reached the citadel; he was already in his full armour. There were about ten knights for the patrol, King Lot himself was not going to be with them and they were to patrol the western border because of reports of a few scattered bandit attacks. Wilfred and Sir Olaf were part of group. Sir Olaf was a strict and uptight man; he liked to distance himself from the others. He was a little older than Gareth, about five years but he held himself like a man much older. They set off, Sir Olaf leading the group while Gareth and Wilfred trailed behind.<p>

"So why were you late?" Wilfred asked. The horses were going at a steady trot, the knights in front loud enough to mask their conversation.

"Anna, she nearly died."

"What? What happened man?" Wilfred exclaimed.

"I don't know, she says it was an accident, but I don't know if I believe her." Gareth muttered his voice barely audible.

"Why would you think that mate?"

"It can hardly be a happy life for her can it?"

"I suppose, I doubt she did it on purpose. Have some faith Garry." Wilfred said sternly.

"I make the woman miserable."

"Your face makes most people miserable."

"This is serious!"

"Everything is always serious with you." Wilfred moaned. "You used to be fun, do you remember those day's? Do you even remember what it is?"

"I am fun!"

"You've lost your passion for life." Wilfred said, for once displaying his wise side. "We can only hope you can get it back."

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><p><strong>Authors note: I hope you enjoyed that! Quite a lot happened in this chapter and it is one of those chapters that mostly set the scene for the next few chapters where more things start to happen.<strong>

**Who is your favourite character in the story? What do you think will happen next?**

**The next chapter shall be up at the end of this week, in the meantime keep reviewing and so on.**

**_The Adventure continues next week..._**

_Gareth had returned from his patrol and instead of a warm greeting from Anna welcoming him home, it was the grim face of Gemma._

_"Gemma what's happened." He said quickly, recognising from her expression that it was something serious, his stomach instantly knotted up in worry._

_"It's about Anna" she said wringing her hands in front of her._

_"What about Anna? Has she gotten sicker?" He said in a panic turning to run up the stairs._


	5. Run

_**Authors Note: Yes I have changed the title, I don't really think the previous one represented the story as I wanted it to. I don't really think the one I have now fits either, nor the summary. I can't seem to sum this story up without revealing too much of the story that is supposed to be a surprise. There is a chapter coming up where the identity of Anna is finally revealed, I can't wait to hear your suggestions on that. Anyway, sorry for the wait. There is no excuse since it was edited and completed on my laptop, I blame laziness. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter five: Run.<strong>

Anna spent the next day brooding in her room mulling over what she should do next. She knew for certain that she didn't want to marry Gareth, he was a nice guy but he wasn't right for her. She knew she could do better and so could he. Although they clicked and there was some good chemistry that's all it was. Anna couldn't think in her room, the atmosphere was stifling. Anna got up wrapped a shawl round her shoulders and stormed out of her room. In her haste to get to her special place she almost ran the distance. Once she got to the little clearing with the clear pool Anna sighed in relief, she finally felt free. But the anger was still swirling away inside her as she sat by the pool and closed her eyes. When she opened them her mother was staring back at her. She was in what looked to be the council chambers in Camelot talking to someone, she couldn't see who it was as his face was in the shadows. Her mother looked desperate, gesturing wildly as she spoke. Anna wished she could hear what was being said so that she could understand. The sight of her mother's bump made bile rise in her throat as she sneered down at the pool. The man gestured angrily and then stepped out of the shadows. Anna lost her balance as the face came into view falling onto her behind in her shock. It was him. Why was her mother talking to him- her worst enemy?

The anger that had been trapped within her for so long exploded outwards like a stone dropping into a pond, the trees surrounding her setting on fire. The flames licked the branches rising higher and higher caressing the leaves in their suddenly deadly beauty. Anna stared in wonder at the power she had released. She felt much calmer, but as her mind wandered back to Uther the flames blazed higher. Anna was startled by a scream of terror and she turned quickly to see a woman from the local village staring at her in horror and revulsion. Anna started forward wanting to calm the woman or something but before she could the woman turned and ran, and Anna gave chase.

Anna ran faster than ever before to catch the fleeing woman. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage and her dress floating around her the woman sprinted faster trying desperately to get away from Anna. Panic was clawing at Anna's throat, her stomach in knots she was desperate she couldn't have people finding out about her magic, if they did she didn't want to know the consequences. If Uther found her she would be executed- burned at the stake, beheaded and that was not a fate she wanted to bestow herself, not now and not ever. She had to make the woman understand. She had to make her see that she wasn't evil because she wasn't evil. Not at all, not even a little bit and she had nearly caught the woman now

"Stop, please" Anna screamed at the woman, who impossibly managed to increase her speed further. "You have to listen to me, I need to explain!" Anna half sobbed through her scream, the woman ignored her, why wouldn't she listen? Why was she so blinded by fear? The peasant woman was approaching the edge of the forest by now and Anna knew she had to stop her before she reached the open. If she reached the village Anna didn't want to know what the consequences would be. No one would protect her so in a last ditch attempt Anna threw her hand out, a hard gust of air erupted from Anna's palm knocking the young woman of her feet. The force of the air catapulted the woman into a large oak tree, her head snapping back with a sickly crack. The woman dropped to the ground and lay still and unmoving. Anna screamed in horror and dropped to the ground beside the woman. She turned her over brushing her brown hair out of her eyes. But the woman's eyes were open but unseeing- wide with fear. Blood flowed from the wound on her head. There was nothing to be done. She was dead. Anna was terrified, what would happen to her now?

Anna had killed her. Anna flew into panic mode, fleeing the scene going back to the clearing with the pool and pacing in panic. The air was no longer serene and full of wildlife, Anna's temper tantrum had seen to that. The air was heavy with smoke and the once beautiful place was charred and spoilt. Anna paced anxiously pulling at her hair. She had killed the woman, she felt bad about that but it was better than her and her unborn child dying. No it was an accident but she had done the right thing. But she could no longer stay here, they would find out it was her. She knew they would. They probably already suspected, everyone probably already knew. Maybe Gareth had warned them all. No she couldn't stay, she had to leave. But where could she go, who could care for her. She couldn't look after herself. Her mind made up Anna twirled on the spot and picked a direction, and then she walked. Still stricken with horror and fear she numbly made her way away from Caerleon and Gareth and the care she had had their. Yet again she had been forced to flee. Yet again she had nowhere to go. Walking aimlessly Anna stumbled and tripped her way through the thick forest, getting snapped and cut by branches and brambles.

After a couple of hours of walking Anna reached a small river which she decided to set up camp at, except she didn't have any food or any material to start a fire with- which was of course brilliant in this situation. She also had no skills to start a fire, she had never been taught, after all she was a Lady and Lady's didn't need to make a fire. So in the end Anna sat at the side of the river shivering uncontrollably from the cold bitter winter air, shrouded in self-pity and her own hopelessness and silently cursing everyone who had caused this. Anna kept the same routine for the next few days, the only things she had eaten where some berries she had managed to find and she'd had some water. Anna followed the river; she had no other idea where to go so that's what she did. The river offered her a sense of calmness that nowhere else could; it was the epitome of nature and magic. Anna had never felt so hungry in her life her stomach was grumbling constantly and she nearly doubled up from the pain of her belly's emptiness. She was very conscious of the little life inside of her that needed food. She had to find some way of providing for herself and her growing baby, she couldn't handle the thought of being alone and survivors instinct stopped any thought in its tracks that suggested she simply give up, she was stronger than that and certainly stronger than your average woman. Anna hadn't wanted this baby and she still didn't but the thought of carrying around another little person made her feel less lonely. Even if she was bringing a baby into this situation Anna couldn't find it in her too care. It would be a pitiful existence for the both of them, but as least she would have someone. She knew that she could not keep this up for much longer she had already started to become weaker. Eventually this cursed forest would claim her and her child, she just had to try and last as long as possible. She wondered what Gareth was doing; she wondered if he was worried about her or just glad to see the back of her, probably the latter. No one had ever wanted her. No one ever had. Everyone in her life had been so quick to cast her out and quick to replace her. Now though she could have this baby, and the baby would need her. Would need her to feed it, need her for everything. She would not be replaceable. That's all she wanted; someone to depend on her because she was so sick of having to depend on others.

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><p>Gareth had returned from his patrol and instead of a warm greeting from Anna welcoming him home, it was the grim face of Gemma.<p>

"Gemma what's happened." He said quickly, recognising from her expression that it was something serious, his stomach instantly knotted up in worry.

"It's about Anna" she said wringing her hands in front of her.

"What about Anna? Has she gotten sicker?" He said in a panic turning to run up the stairs.

"No sir, she left."

"Left?" Gareth questioned, his mind not comprehending what his ears had just heard.

"Yes two days ago."

"Why?"

"I don't know sir." Gemma lied. "But on the same day there was a fire down in the forest and a girl from the village was found dead." The suggestion in her voice was palpable.

"Anna would never..." He said looking into the distance his eyebrows knotted as the fear that she would do it. She had it in her, he knew that.

"Sir, she was in a state the last time I saw her."

"Then why didn't you stop her!" Gareth said furiously, Gemma flinched back from Gareth's hard words.

"Because I didn't think she would leave sir, I just thought she wanted to get out of the house."

"She wouldn't hurt anyone, would she?"

"I don't know sir."

"Did you know about her Gemma?"

"Know what sir?"

"Don't be coy Gemma, it does not suit you."

"I knew she was from a high ranking family and I knew she had some magical abilities" Gemma bit her lip in worry as Gareth stared at her.

"Do you think Uther's right, that magic does corrupt?"

"Sir I don't think you should be asking me, I am just a servant."

"I trust you."

"I think all power can, and I think she was more powerful than what she could deal with."

"Do you think she killed the girl" there was a pleading look in his eyes, he was begging her to say that she didn't think Anna would do that. However she had to tell him the truth.

"Yes I do sir."

"I do too." He gazed at the floor sadly "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this." He sighed "I saw it in her, but I thought I could change her."

"So did I sir, we were both wrong."

"She was already too far gone."

"We do not know that she murdered the girl, it could have been an accident."

"But it also could have been on purpose" Gareth said bluntly. "I suppose we shall never know now."

"I know I just wish I could know for certain" he said pausing as his eyes boring into Gemma's "is there anything you aren't telling me?" He asked.

"No sir" She replied before turning away from him and walking off. On her face was an incredibly guilty expression, she didn't want to keep secrets from Sir Gareth but she knew she had to. It was for the best.

If he knew the truth he would only go after her, but Gemma knew the time had come for Anna to leave. Gemma knew in her heart that Anna was full of hatred and bitterness. Sir Gareth didn't deserve to be poisoned by her and Gemma could only hope that the child would be saved from that.

Now Sir Gareth could move on with his life, she thought as she folded some washing. The kitchen was quiet as she worked, the smells of Maddies cooking had long since faded and the guilt lump in her stomach wouldn't go away and she somehow doubted that it ever would. She had told Anna what right she had to lie to Sir Gareth, but now that Gemma herself that begged the question that would she had done was infinitely worse.

Feeling increasingly guilty Gemma finished the washing and left for the short walk home. Anna hadn't belonged with them, she was different and magical. These didn't bode well for those trying to hide.

She had done what she had thought was for the best, now she could only hope the consequences weren't too severe.

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><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>** So did you see that coming? Oh you did... I love Anna's character but I feel she has no depth, mainly because I hate her as a character. She is a shallow and bitter character and though I empathise with my own character I still think she's a right cow. **

_The adventure continues Next week:_

_"Is that how you druids are? Preach peace and then kick out all those who disagree with you? Who feel the anger of their kind? Who want vengeance for the death of our kin?" Anna questioned, her voice alight with malice. The stony faces that answered her question gave her a sick sense of satisfaction. She had won. _


	6. The Druids

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of it's characters. **

**A/N **_Sorry for the long wait, I just don't really like this story any more, I'm sorry again. Enjoy!_

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

The months for Anna passed dreadfully slowly- oh how the mighty have fallen. She was stick thin with a prominent bump which stuck out on her tiny frame. Her cheeks and eyes were sunken, her skin waxy. Anna dragged herself along the forest path. Her dress was torn and muddy stretched tightly over her large bump.

She had been wandering for three months without direction and had only recently found this path. She was living off berries and any dead animals she found along the way. Anna knew that she needed help, her body was weak and she couldn't remember the last time she had been warm. Using her magic she could at least protect herself from the rain but she just didn't have the knowledge of basic survival. Or know the spells. Heading down the path, tripping and stumbling in her ruined boots she eventually stumbled into a clearing where she sat down to rest. She quickly fell _asleep, her tired body slumping against the tree._

_It was dark; there was Uther and her mother, talking quietly. She turned, feeling as though she was a ghost floating through the scene. She drifted over to the wooden cot and peered in. The most beautiful child ever stared back up at her. The child's eyes were a beautiful piercing green and her hair as dark as the midnight sky. The child was holding a small toy and Anna lent closer trying to read the inscription. _

_'Morgana Le Fray.' As Anna stared at the child in the vision she felt the untapped power inside her. She would one day be a powerful sorceress. Anna knew instantly that this would be the sorcerer that would end Uther's long reign tyranny. She felt herself flying away, floating into the darkness, sucked away from her vision. _

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><p>Anna woke to the sound of footsteps, loud and heavy and more than one set. Looking up she saw the figures of six people walking towards her, startled and scared she jumped to her feet and cowered into the tree behind her. She would use magic to get away but she didn't want to alert any of Camelot's knights that were close to this area. The figures were cloaked in heavy brown robes, their faces covered. The cloaks rustled against the floor as they moved.<p>

"Do not fear child, we only wish to help you" Said the one of her furthest right, his voice was deep and calming. He slowly lowered his hood, and she saw his face. He was mid-forties with blonde hair that was greying slightly. His face was kind and open and he had a bushy blonde beard. He was smiling at her kindly.

"He is right, come with us my dear." Said a woman's voice she was tall for a woman with long flowing auburn hair. She couldn't have been that much older than Anna herself, but her eyes were wise beyond her years.

Anna found herself being led away by these people too shocked to be able to protest. There was a person on either side of her with a firm grip on her forearms. She didn't know whether it was to stop her from running away or if it was just simply to stop her falling. Anna thought it was silly that they would think she would fall. She was made of stronger stuff than that. Consciously straightening her back and raising her chin she shrugged off their arms as she walked, her pride would not be stopped by these people. As they walked the people shot worried looks in her direction, but she would not admit weakness not anymore. They entered a camp, with dozens of tents surrounding a large fire in the middle. They were children playing in the mouth of one of the tents, the smaller child's eyes flared gold and he made their toys dance around them, the other child clapping in glee their faces alight with childish amusement.

She was taken to the smallest tent towards the edge of the camp, walking past mothers scolding children and people laughing. The place was obviously one of the places her kin had escaped to avoid persecution. As she entered the tent, she was surprised by now much larger it was inside than it appeared to be. There was three beds lining the edge of the tent and an elderly woman was pottering around the tent mixing medicines. Anna realised that this must be the healer's tent. The man who had spoken indicated for her to sit on one of the beds. Only he and the woman who had talked had entered the tent with her. The man walked over to the older woman talking far too quietly for her to hear.

The healer walked over to her with a large smile. She was dressed in a long blue robe that swept the floor as she walked.

"My names Eleria and I'm the healer for this clan."

"I'm Anna" She replied daring Eleria to say something about the state she was in, but she didn't.

"I'm just going to have a quick look at you and then Markus will take you to where you will be staying" she looked over at the man and he gave a tiny nod of acknowledgement. Markus and the girl left the tent while Eleria examined her. It was short and over quicker than Anna had expected. "The baby seems to be in good health, we just need to take better care of you." Eleria went to tell them they could come back in.

The girl looked at Anna worriedly before turning to Eleria "Will she be all right?"

"She just needs some nourishment and she will be fine."

"The baby?"

"The baby will be fine, it's a strong one." It was annoying Anna the fact that they were talking like she wasn't here. It was her baby; it was her life and they could have at least talked to her.

"I'm sorry; I didn't get your name." Anna stated in mock politeness to the girl who answered her without a shred of guilt.

"Giovanna" She replied with a large smile, one that flashed her too-white teeth. "Come with me and Markus, Anna." With that she and Markus left the tent without turning check she was following them. Anna looked up at Eleria who just shrugged at her, so Anna gave a huff annoyance and stood up slowly, weary of falling over because of the large weight overbalancing her attached to her front. Anna headed out of the tent without saying thank you to Eleria. She quickly caught up with the other two and they gestured for her to enter a tent. Anna did so wearily. Inside was quite bare; a few beds and that were about it. She sat down on one of the four chairs heavily. Eyeing Markus and Giovanna she wondered what the two of them wanted.

"So this is where you can stay." Giovanna said brightly.

"Where exactly am I?"

"The border of Camelot's lands" Markus said bluntly before adding "What were you doing here anyway? You're emaciated."

"That is none of your business." Anna replied coldly, her eyes like steel. Giovanna seemed shocked at how harsh she was and didn't seem to know what to say so she looked at Markus for reassurance.

"I suppose it is not. This here is a druid camp; everyone here has had to flee Camelot in fear of persecution. We are all here for peace, are you?"

"I want magic to be restored and if anyone wants to kill Uther, I won't stop them." Anna sneered her lip curling back.

"We are waiting for the time of Emrys." Giovanna added quietly.

"I do not believe in such fairy tales."

"You would be wise to start believing." Giovanna hissed "Emrys will be the saviour of us all, he will lead us to a shining new golden age."

"I do not believe in waiting for others. Why wait?"

"Because that is what the prophecies say." Giovanna said knowledgably glaring at Anna. Markus however stared at Anna in shock and horror, as though she had insulted all of his ideals. She probably had. But Anna had never been one to suffer fools gladly.

"That is all well and good but how many will die in your inaction."

"Less than Emrys will save."

"And is that all that matters?" Anna challenged "You could die, this whole camp could die. My baby could die. All because we sit here and do nothing. Who does that help, please inform me- I am dying to know."

"We could, but rather I'd rather die than become a murderer." Giovanna snarled.

"You would do well to remember that those you fight against will not hold up your ideals."

"Then we avoid fights."

"Yes, run and hide like pathetic little cowards. I will wait for our saviour but it will not be Emrys."

"Then you do that, but you are not welcome here. You can stay and rest for a few days but then I want you gone." Markus said sharply, ending the argument.

"Is that how you druids are? Preach peace and then kick out all those who disagree with you? Who feel the anger of their kind? Who want vengeance for the death of our kin?" Anna questioned, her voice alight with malice. The stony faces that answered her question gave her a sick sense of satisfaction. She had won.

"I am sorry Anna." Said Giovanna she didn't sound sorry at all.

"Am I the first you've kicked out, or one of many?"

"We do not kick anyone out; we simply suggest that they leave. Another sorceress left our camp not long ago; she was Camelot's court sorcerer- Nimueh."

"Nimueh?" Anna said excitedly "Do you know where she was heading?"

"I believe she was heading towards the isle of the blessed but she could have moved on by now" said Markus, sending a sidelong to Giovanna to share their confusion.

"Nimueh will help me. She will, I know she will." Anna spoke, looking into the distance. Markus believed she was speaking to herself now and not to them. Anna's attention snapped back to them "Thank you for your help so far, I require rest for a couple of days and provisions for the journey." Anna said politely a complete turnaround from her behaviour earlier, leaving Giovanna confused. "If that will be okay with you, Markus?" Anna added as she rubbed her stomach. Markus nodded, he would not leave a pregnant woman with no way of caring for herself. It was not in his nature. Staring at the bump brought back memories of his own wife and baby that were cruelly taken from him. Markus shook those thoughts away before speaking again.

"I shall send someone to escort you."

"That will not be necessary." Although Anna's voice was bright and cheery, it was not reflected in her eyes which were hard and unforgiving.

"Good night then Anna, Giovanna will bring you some supper later." With that Markus and Giovanna hastily left the tent.

Anna pottered around the tent for a while, picking up some of the odd magical artefacts and turning them in her hand as she observed them. It was then during her search of the tent that Anna found a thick tome, a book of magic. Anna greedily grabbed it off the shelf and hefted it into her arms, carrying it to one of the beds. Once she had sunk down comfortably she opened it randomly, taking in the ancient runes and language as she devoured the magical knowledge. She had wanted to do this for so long. The book was old, and contained some old magic Anna herself had never even heard of. It was a fantastic find, with incantations on everything from how to control magical beasts to how to make someone fall in love with you. There were more spells than she had been taught and more than she had ever read about. Anna's head snapped up as she heard someone approaching the tent, Anna hastily shoved the book under the covers of the bed and stood up. The flap to the tent opened and as promised it was Giovanna with her food. Giovanna strode over and slapped it into Anna's hands. Anna nodded a thanks and Giovanna stormed out, her hair swishing as she left.

Anna dove hungrily into her supper, while she was on her own there was need for things such as manners and after months of starvation she was going to eat all she could. They had given her a simple broth and some bread- which was probably about all her stomach could handle at the moment. Anna ate quickly but soon regretted it when she finished as her stomach revolted and she barely made it to the bucket in the corner before she emptied her stomach.

"You will have to take it easy" Giovanna said, Anna jumped she hadn't even realised she had come back in. "Your stomach is not used to food anymore."

"Yes, I know."

"I was only saying." Giovanna pottered round the tent whilst wringing her hands, Anna knew that she wanted to say something but Anna wasn't going to help her. "So when we found you, were you having a seer dream?" Giovanna blurted out.

"Yes, why do you ask?" Anna asked suspiciously.

"It's just I've been practicing some healing magic and I haven't had the chance to test it out yet." Giovanna said excitedly.

"And what do you want from me?"

"Can I have your bracelet, I promise not to break it." Anna frowned at the request and then stared down at the gold bangle that was sitting innocently on her wrist. She never took it off. Reluctantly Anna slid it off her wrist and gave it to Giovanna who plucked it happily out of her hands. Giovanna set it down on the table and took a deep breath. "_gehælednes__swefecung" _ She muttered, her eyes flared gold for just a second and the bracelet glowed bright gold before fading back to its original colour, when Giovanna handed it back to her though she was surprised that it was warm to the touch "If you wear that while you sleep, it should block all seer dreams. It will give you an undisturbed nights rest." Anna put the bracelet back on her wrist and nodded in gratitude to Giovanna.

"Why are you helping me?"

"I only want to help you. Sometimes those dreams are enough to turn anyone mad. But take heed Anna that the dreams you see only come true if you allow them to, the future is not set in stone. The future is but a series of choices, make a different choice and the future is changed. Don't let the future determine the present. I won't see you again, good luck Anna." She walked towards the door before turning back "He will be strong you know, stronger than most. He will be key in leading Albion into a new age" With that Giovanna left, she was a mystery that one. Anna wondered what exactly the girl knew that she did not, but all druids were like that. Secretive by nature.

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><p>Anna left the next day, with a bag full of food and a map. It was only a day's walk away and Anna found herself unable to wait to find Nimueh. Nimueh always had the answers; she was that sort of person. She would care for Anna; she would tell her exactly what she should do. Anna wanted to be independent but she needed a teacher, she needed a guide.<p>

The silent air was suddenly disrupted and Anna found herself surrounded by seven armed men, their swords all pointing at her. Anna was in shock, how dare they attack an unarmed woman.

"To use our path you must first pay a fee." The leader said, his wide grin displaying several blackened teeth.

"Your path?" She asked haughtily, the men around her shuffled in annoyance.

"Aye, has been for years." Another said.

"Yalea will you please be quite" The leader boomed.

"Sorry Rilam." Yalea said meekly.

"We're just trying to earn a decent living." The smallest piped up.

"By holding swords to people's throats?" Anna said angrily.

"Well not that honest" he admitted.

"Shut it you lot. I expect payment now."

"If I don't?"

"They you shall pay with something else…" He and the others chuckled darkly, Anna supposed it was in an attempt to intimidate her. It hadn't worked.

"Well I'm going now." Anna said pushing the sword away from her chest and stepping forward to leave.

"Not so fast" Rilem said gripping the back of her dress.

"I would advise you to let go." Anna warned.

"Yeah? What's a little woman like yourself going to do?" Anna rolled her eyes, thrust out her palm and they all went flying.

"Enjoy your payment boys." Anna left them eating dirt as she continued on her journey.

The walk wasn't too strenuous but Anna was still weak from the previous months and so the journey was slow to start with. Anna tried to keep to the woods and away from the main tracks, she didn't want to risk coming across any knights or bandits. A woman in her condition would be easy pickings, although her magic might even the odds slightly.

She was nearly there now; she could sense she was drawing closer. The isle of the blessed was one of the most powerful places in the known world. It radiated power for anyone trained to sense it. Anna now longer needed her map; instead she followed her senses following the slight pulling sensation down through the thick woods.

The sense of magic was thick in the air, hovering around like a faint mist. The spells that were cast here in the past were both beautiful and horrible. Only the most powerful dared reside here and this was where Nimueh was. She could sense her, she could sense Nimueh. Walking to the bottom of the slope she found herself on the bank of a lake, there was a small jetty with a boat tied to it. Anna walked carefully down the jetty, nervous at how rotted it appeared to be and fearing falling through. Anna climbed into the boat and flung her hand out to set it moving. The air was cold and blowing into her face as the boat travelled, Anna pulled up the hood of her blue cloak. The boat was now nearing the beautiful ruins of an old castle at the centre of the lake. The castle that once stood here must have been majestic in its beauty. The boat bumped up alongside an archway door. She climbed out, lifting her dress and cloak to stop them getting wet. She then strode into the centre of the ruins. In the middle was an alter and beside it stood a beautiful young woman with dark brown hair and blue eyes- Nimueh. Anna moved to stand opposite her, giving her a small curtsey. Nimueh appeared to have been waiting for her and simply inclined her head.

"Hello again Nimueh" Anna said breathlessly throwing her hood down.

"It's nice to see you again, Morgause."

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><p>AN DUN DUN DERRRRRR! Did any of you guess? Please say no! Please review people, it keeps away the boogey men!


	7. Nimueh

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of it's characters. **

**A/N A quick update that is entirely TehcheesegraterofDOOM's fault! **

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

Morgause sat herself at the large table, Nimueh however remained standing, staring at her with bewilderment. Morgause shifted in her seat uneasily from the stare and bit the inside of her cheek as she waited for Nimueh to speak.

"So do you care to explain the circumstance in which you came here?" Nimueh said her voice like ice. Morgause shivered at her tone.

"I am with child." Morgause said guiltily staring down at the grain of the wood.

"I can see that"

"I have no one, no one at all." It hurt to say it; her cheeks flamed at the statement- how far she had fallen since those days.

"What pray tell, does this have to do with me?" Nimueh glided over to the table, her demeanour unchanging as she elegantly sat at the table and pushed a wisp of hair behind her ear. He voice was still cool, the tone enough to put fear into the hearts of the bravest men.

"I just- I just thought you could help" Morgause stuttered almost incoherently.

"Who told you where to find me?" Nimueh asked her eyes narrowing in annoyance.

"The druids."

"Do not speak of the druids in front of me! They are a disgrace to my kin, allowing them to be murdered when they could stop it." Nimueh said furiously, clenching her fist so hard that her knuckles went white. Morgause flinched backwards involuntarily.

"They wouldn't let me stay, I wasn't peaceful enough for them." Morgause said her lip curling upwards into a sneer as she thought back to those pathetic sorcerers.

"Would they not?"

"No, they seemed to see me as a corruptive influence."

"So Morgause, you hate Uther?"

"Yes." Morgause said with justice.

"Really? I thought he was almost like an uncle to you?" Nimueh said conversationally but with hidden malice.

"Not any more, he tried to kill me."

"It seems we both share a hatred for Uther, but that doesn't explain why I should help you."

"You are lonely; you need someone just as I need someone. I will help you in your crusade against Uther." Morgause said earnestly, leaning towards Nimueh. Nimueh's face was unreadable as she considered the proposal.

"What help would you be? You are hardly trained." Nimueh scoffed angrily.

"I have a natural talent for influencing the elements, I am a quick study. I am sure my teachers would have informed you of that."

"Yes they did, I had hoped that I could take you in as my apprentice if your family allowed" Nimueh mused staring into the distance while her fingers drummed a pattern onto the table.

"Well now you can."

"I suppose I am then, you do realise that your babe will never be safe with you. You will be hunted like an animal, like the rest of our kind."

"I shall cross that bridge when I come to it, Nimueh." Morgause said firmly.

"If you are sure, but I expect you to stay in my service for at least ten years. You are signing those years over to me if you agree, in return I will help you Morgause and I will protect you."

"Then I shall agree." Morgause said firmly, there was no doubt in her mind. This was what she wanted to do, this was what she had to do.

"How old are you?"

"Fifteen."

"Fifteen and having a child, what would your parents say Morgause." Nimueh threw her head back and laughed "They would be horrified."

"They are no concern to me anymore" Morgause said coldly, her eyes shining with annoyance at Nimueh's questioning.

"That is very good. I shall take you to where you can stay." Nimueh said still chuckling. Her laughter didn't make her seem nicer, or even happy. In fact it made her scarier, wild and uncontrolled. She seemed almost mad.

Nimueh took her to a room at the told of the castle; it was a large room, the walls bare. The bed was simple but stood proudly in the centre of the room. The room also contained a small wardrobe and a dressing table devoid of any personal affects. Nimueh left, without a word just the disappearing hem of her dress. Morgause didn't care, alone was better

Morgause walked towards the window and stared out over the beautiful countryside. She opened the window to lean out to better see. Perched on the edge of the window sill Morgause felt like she was floating, Morgause didn't want to look down but slowly she did, the thrill causing her to laugh slightly. The floor was so very far away and it scared Morgause that if she fidgeted a bit too much she could just be a splattered body lying dead on the cobbles. Looking up and over the trees Morgause could almost see the border of Gareth's lands. It was just a bit too far to be able to see with the naked eye, but it made her wonder if he would ever know about their child. Or if he would spend the rest of his life in ignorance that he had fathered her child. Maybe he would settle down with someone else and have his own little family. The thought of it made Morgause green with jealously, she did not want him to be happy with anyone but herself. Gareth could not have her though because she had finally found something better than the small comfort he was able to give her. But that didn't mean he could have anyone else.

Morgause had known Nimueh from Camelot, but only in passing. From what she understood of her she was the most powerful witch there was, Uther was always raving about the beautiful and powerful Nimueh. But Morgause hoped she would one day be better than her and hopefully it wouldn't take long. Morgause hated being in second place and she hated being second best to someone like Nimueh. Nimueh had always swept through the hallways of the castle like she owned it and not Uther, it had annoyed Morgause's father no end. She was intelligent, beautiful and had the sort of natural elegance that was so hard to come across. Morgause had always admired Nimueh from afar, hoping that one day she could be like her. Nimueh was the sort of person who's mere presence commanded respect from those around her. Morgause also knew whatever had happened that changed Uther's mind about magic, was her fault. She was the cause of everything but Morgause still did not blame her, no she still blamed Uther. Uther would get his penance.

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><p>Nimueh taught Morgause every day, for the majority of the day. She first went over all the spells that Morgause had previously learnt from her tutors in Camelot. They quickly moved on when it became apparent that Morgause could use those spells to exemplary standards. The work was hard now that she had progressed, so much so that she had begun to struggle, spells taking her whole days to learn instead of just a few minutes. It was terribly frustrating for Morgause who was used her magic coming easy to her. Nimueh however didn't pity her for the fact that she was struggling; instead she relentlessly had a go at her for it.<p>

"You're pathetic!" "Try harder." "Do you want to go home?"

Nimueh gave her no positive encouragement and instead would shout insults from the opposite side of the room. Morgause wanted nothing more than to punch Nimueh most days, but had to force the feelings down and instead concentrate on what she was doing and trying and failing to keep a calm head. Morgause found though that the negative comments and the put downs she received from Nimueh only proved to make herself try harder to prove to Nimueh that she was worth the time and effort.

The spell that she was working on currently was designed to make a statue turn to life, Morgause couldn't see how this spell would ever be useful but Nimueh had insisted, and disagreements Morgause had made were simply ignored. She was practicing on a statue of a dragon. It was a six foot tall and Morgause had been stood in front of it three days consecutively in an attempt to make it come alive. She sighed in frustration, running her fingers through her hair as she stared at it, hoping that she could just simply will it to change. It didn't.

"Am I just wasting my time? You obviously aren't even trying." Nimueh snarled at her. Morgause's insides burned with anger and she attempted the spell again, this time channelling all her anger and frustration into the spell. To her shock, the dragon came alive. Morgause staggered back as she stared in sudden horror at the massive beast, the dragon lowered its head and sent a barrage of flames in her direction. Morgause screamed and hurled herself onto the floor, one arm protecting her unborn baby and the other above her head as she raised a hasty shield. She didn't get burned alive, instead the flames reflected off her glittering shield. Nimueh then finally stepped forward and turned the dragon back into a statue.

"Why did you not help me?" Morgause asked angrily, her finger jabbing in the dragons' direction in outrage. "I could have been killed!"

"It seems I have belief in your talents, even if you do not. I knew you would come to no harm." Nimueh said not sounding even remotely sorry. "You have to learn that you can do it yourself, you need no one. You are an independent woman Morgause."

"I know Nimueh that I am stronger than most sorcerers, but I am not stronger than you."

"You are young, you will learn Morgause."

"Do you think one day I can be as powerful as you?"

"If you train hard and practice then yes- you have a natural talent to magic that I have not seen before. But this means you have become lazy, not all magic will come to you as easy and you need to be prepared for that. Your temper tantrums won't always work in your favour Morgause." Nimueh warned her, cocking her eyebrow up at her. Morgause was in shock, the thought that one day she could be as powerful as Nimueh was shocking, she couldn't ever imagine having so much power at the touch of her fingertips. But if she could, she could do whatever she wanted- she could bring the vengeance she wanted.

"That's brilliant; I never thought that I could be powerful."

"Do not let it go to your head." Nimueh scolded angrily. "It is a long way off and we won't even be able to attempt some of the more powerful magic while you are with child."

"Right" Morgause said with a pout, frowning down at her ever larger bump. "When can I get this thing out?"

"That thing is you child, and it will be a few months yet."

"I never wanted a child." Morgause muttered angrily.

"Well now you shall have one" Nimueh said sharply, gazing longingly at her bump "You knew the consequences of your actions it is no one's fault but your own."

"Fine, are we done for today, my feet are starting to ache."

"I suppose so; don't think I will be going this easy on you again." Nimueh swept out of the room with a swish of her dress, if this was Nimueh's idea of going easy, she'd hate to go against her when she was''t.

Morgause strode from the room and then out of the old castle, the air was finally starting to warm up and spring was fast approaching. Spring would bring flowers, sun and the anniversary of the beginning of the great purge. Anna was almost another year older, her sixteenth birthday just around the corner. If she was at home her sixteenth would be a large celebration and she would be showered in gifts and affection. Obviously this birthday was not going to be like that.

Instead her birthday would no doubt be full of work and practice, leaving her sore and aching to return to her room- as most days were. Nimueh wasn't the sort of person she would expect to celebrate birthdays. With a sigh Morgause sat down by the shore of the lake, letting it lap below her as she stared into the distance. The Isle of the blessed was a beautiful place, filled with magic and secrets. It was a mystery and Morgause loved a mystery almost as much as she loved a good book. But it was also very secluded and Morgause found she missed other people and noise. Just a general hub-bub in the distance, instead it was very peaceful, the only noises were that of the wind rustling the leaves and the water lapping the shore.

**A/N Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are like fairy dust, they make me fly!**

Morgause stood up slowly, cradling her bump as she re-entered the castle. It was only mid-afternoon so sleep was not on the schedule. Instead she would have to find a book to read, not a hard feat at the size of the castles collections of books. Morgause had no idea what Nimueh did when she wasn't observing Morgause learn but she never saw her around the castle and dared not venture into her private chambers, Nimueh frightened Morgause slightly, she always seemed angry and was almost as bitter as Morgause herself. Nimueh still hadn't told her what had gone on between her on Uther to cause this, hopefully she would one day trust her enough to tell her. The motives for the largest genocide ever known nobody knew and Morgause had to understand just why Uther decided that he would try to kill her. To kill her when she was the daughter of his best friend. Maybe she would never understand, the thoughts of a man as evil as Uther could hardly be rational.


	8. Gwaine

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I don't even own a house or a car. So it's safe to say I don't own Merlin.**

A/N Quick updates for a while I think. Please enjoy! Short one I'm afraid.

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

Morgause' birthday came and went without as much as an acknowledgement, the anniversary of the purge with more so. On the day of the anniversary the sounds of jubilation drifted through to her in her sleep, even with the bracelet on. It sickened her to think of Camelot celebrating the death of thousands of her kind and she couldn't help but wonder if her parents had taken part in it, if they had stood beside their murderous king and laughed alongside him at the deaths of thousands of their friends. Nothing would surprise her any more.

However one evening in the start of spring everything changed. Morgause was startled awake by a great feeling of pain. She could feel her insides contracting and the rush of fluid down her thighs told her one thing- the baby was coming. Morgause was struck by the overwhelming feeling of fear, paralysing her. She couldn't have this baby, not now and not ever. She didn't want this! She wasn't prepared for such pain. Sucking in a great breath as the feeling subsided Morgause concentrated on sending a psychic message to Nimueh, something she had only learnt recently. The message was simple- help the baby is coming, please.

Nimueh rushed to Morgause's side, she had never assisted in a birth before but she knew roughly what to do. Morgause was flushed bright red and sweating heavily when Nimueh entered the room. Morgause had begun to panic, breathing in sharply and far too quick. She was dimly aware of Nimueh speaking to her before she forcefully grabbed her chin and made her look into her eyes.

"Listen to me; I need you to breathe deeply. Slow it down, do you understand me? In and out, that's right, calm down." Nimueh said softly, as she spoke Morgause slowly got her breathing under control her head was still spinning from the lack of air and her chest tight.

"I can't do this." Morgause said vehemently shaking her head from side to side; her eyes were dilated as she trembled.

"Yes you can, thousands of women do this every day. So calm yourself."

"But I don't want to!" Morgause screamed angrily, a pot flying off the shelf and smashing on the floor with a loud clatter.

"Morgause!" Nimueh said in outrage, but before Morgause could respond she was overtaken by another contraction. Her face screwed up in pain she bit her lip almost drawing blood. The contraction was over quickly and she slowly relaxed back into the pillows of her bed.

"I don't want to do this" she whispered a note of terror in her voice.

"Shh, Morgause, you have a while to go yet. Everything will be fine my dear." Nimueh crooned softly stroking the side of her face. Morgause could do nothing but lay there, terrified of the pain that was to come but even more terrified that soon she will have a babe, and she will have to care for it.

The hours passed slowly and loudly and by the fifth hour Morgause was screaming bloody murder, the entire bed was drenched with her sweat. Morgause had started using her magic during the contractions, she didn't mean to but the power just kept exploding out of her. After one such event where she flung a pot at Nimueh accidently (Nimueh had been patronising her) the older witch had bound her powers with a spell. The room was dark now, the torches flickering menacingly along the walls casting elongated shadows across the room. There was blood staining the sheets but Morgause was so out of it she hadn't noticed, Nimueh however was starting to panic. She was not trained in midwifery but even she knew the amount of blood Morgause was losing wasn't normal. Nimueh threw out her hand and cast a spell to stop the flow. Nimueh stared up at Morgause; her head was lolling listlessly while she muttered incoherently. Nimueh knew she had to get the child out before they both died; she had to save the child. Nimueh shook Morgause back into consciousness. Morgause blearily opened her eyes before her face contorted into pain.

"Morgause, you are almost there. One more push…now." She said trying hard to keep the panic out of her voice. Maybe she was listening or maybe it was just pure instinct but Morgause pushed and let out a scream. Then it was over and a baby was in Nimueh's arms, covered in blood but alive. Nimueh wrapped the child in a blanket and looked back to the now unconscious Morgause.

Deciding that Morgause would be okay Nimueh took the child to the chair in the corner of the room. Nimueh began to sing as she rocked the quietly crying baby. Nimueh began to carefully clean the child whilst she sang, her eyes alight with wonder at the little baby in her arms. She sat there with the child for hours as she waited for Morgause to wake, she never once took her eyes off of the baby she was mesmerised by the rise and fall of his chest, the little inhales of breath the warmth of him as he snuggled into her arms.

Morgause woke and stared around the room looking down and seeing the blood Morgause began to panic and then a dark haired woman stepped out of the shadows clutching a blanket to her chest. Morgause tried to use her magic only to find it bound.

"Shh it's all over now." Nimueh strode closer to her "You are safe with me, you always were." Nimueh then placed the sleeping baby on Morgause's chest and softly brushed Morgause's hair of her sticky face.

"My baby?" Morgause stuttered.

"A little healthy boy" Nimueh smiled a large smile, the truest smile Morgause had ever seen on her. Not a sneer or a cocky smile but a true, pure grin of joy. "Do you have a name for him?"

"Gwaine" Morgause muttered sleepily, raising one arm to stroke his downy brown fluffy hair. His eyes were firmly shut and he had a wrinkled look about him as if he had been in the bath too long.

"A beautiful name"

"Like his father" Morgause spoke quietly her eyes closed, she stroked his cheek and fell asleep.

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><p>AN Baby Gwaine! The plot is finally getting moving now, this story is set over about twenty years so it's going to be quite long. Anyway, thanks for the alerts and favorites, and reviews of course!


	9. Mother

**Disclaimer: I only own my imagination**

A/N Another chapter so soon! How I spoil you all!

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

Two days after giving birth to Gwaine Morgause was ready to return to lessons again, in fact she was antsy. She hated time spent alone in her room with the baby, the baby who either just cried at her or who was asleep. It never let her sleep though. Currently Gwaine was bawling his eyes out while Morgause held him facing away from her as she made little shushing sounds to no effect. Nimueh entered the room, and strode over to Morgause and plucked the crying Gwaine out of her arms. Morgause's arms fell uselessly to her side as she watched Nimueh rock Gwaine until he quietened; she made it look so easy. Maybe Morgause was just a terrible mum.

"You were holding him all wrong" Nimueh informed her as she looked down at Gwaine with love in her eyes. "You need to soothe him, he needs to feel your comfort." She said wisely.

Morgause simmered in anger, how dare she tell her what to do. He was her baby, not Nimueh's and she had no right.

"Yes, thank you." Morgause said coldly as she turned to stride from the room.

"Where are you going Morgause?" Questioned Nimueh.

"For a walk."

Morgause stalked out of the room and refrained from kicking the door. Morgause went down to the practice room and with her magic threw back all the furniture. She conjured a target board and began to fire at it. Fire hurtled across the room in fireballs of all sizes, blackening the wood of the target board. Morgause was panting in exertion now her face filled with anger she was a terrifying sight.

The board couldn't take anymore and collapsed inwards, the blackened wood falling to the ground with a loud thud. Morgause backed into the wall and slid down, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms round them. Her head rested on her knees as she shook with silent tears. It was so unfair; she was doomed- cursed to live this abomination of a life. She had nothing to look forward to; even the thought of Uther's death couldn't bring a smile to her face. It was all so rubbish, here she was sixteen years old with a child she didn't love a mentor who she suspected was a little crazy and secluded on an island with no one else to talk to.

She sat there for a little while before standing up shakily, wiping her eyes and returning to her room. She opened the door to her room quietly, Nimueh was sat at the other side of the room, baby Gwaine was on her lap and she cradled him softly. She didn't notice Morgause enter and Morgause found herself struck by the image a dark haired woman cradling her dark haired son. She looked like the perfect mother, she would be a better mother to Gwaine than Morgause could ever be. Jealously stirred inside her why couldn't she be a perfect a mother for Gwaine as Nimueh was? The child was going to be doomed in life with her as a mother she thought glumly. She took another step inside the room and Nimueh finally saw her, she gave her a nod before her eyes snapped back to the baby in her arms. Morgause stood ringing her hands behind her back she felt awkward like she didn't belong her. But she did, he was her baby. Stepping forward again with confidence in her stride she walked over to Nimueh.

"Thank you for looking after him this morning but I can look after him now" She said in false bravado.

Nimueh eyed her wearily "Are you sure, I can stay a bit longer or even take him for the night if you want?"

"No, that's quite alright." Morgause said slowly reaching and taking the squirming Gwaine from Nimueh she then opened the heavy wooden door and waited for Nimueh to leave.

"Well if you need any help…" Nimueh said, stooping down to place a chaste kiss on Gwaine's cheek. Morgause couldn't shut the door on her quick enough. The door closed Morgause let a sigh of relief, raising Gwaine in her arms so they were eye to eye.

"Right you. No crying, we are going to show her that I'm a good mummy." Morgause bounced him watching as his little eyelids started to droop in tiredness. She cradled him and carried him over to the pretty but basic wooden cot in the corner; she carefully placed the now sleeping Gwaine down and covered him in a blanket to ward off the cold afternoon air. She stroked his soft hair and gave him a little kiss. Morgause stood and walked over to the little rocking chair and picked up the book she had been reading. She was reading about the history of Albion, of all those who had invaded over the years it was very interesting, to know of the past would better the future. It was amazing how many times these lands had been taken and fought over, a fight that they were still fighting.

During the afternoon Gwaine only cried twice and he was easy to placate, feeding and a nappy change and then he drifted back to sleep. Morgause was slightly worried about the amount of time he spent asleep, should babies sleep this much? Her book said so but it was so boring when he spent the majority of the time asleep.

The next day Morgause carried a snoozing Gwaine down to the dining room, Nimueh was already there and eating a sizable amount of food.

"How did last night go?" Nimueh asked as she reached as if to take Gwaine before thinking better of it.

"Fine, he slept the entire time." Morgause looked down at Gwaine as she spoke; he had a little frown on his face as he slept.

"Babies do tend to do that…" Nimueh trailed off as a haunted look crossed her face briefly.

Morgause took a seat at the table and picked some fruit out of the bowls to eat, over the months she had been with Nimueh she had slowly began to put back on all the weight she had lost. She was now back to pre-baby weight around about, all though the skin on her stomach was much less flat than it used to be and wobbled a lot.

"I want to resume my lessons." Morgause said with a slight pleading tone to her voice.

"I believe it to be too soon and what shall Gwaine do while you learn? You can't leave him alone."

"Yes, I know. But I was thinking you could look after him while I train, I would trust no other more than yourself with him." It was a slight lie, Morgause was slightly wary with leaving Gwaine with Nimueh and the person she trusted most was Gareth, who didn't even know he had a child.

"Well I am honoured; I suppose we can as long as you take it easy at first. We will have to set up a protective shield to keep Gwaine safe though." Nimueh mused softly "Leave that with me, I will think of something."

"Thank you, I just want to get back to learning. I need to know the most I can, we could be attacked at any time."

"While you are here you are safe." Nimueh assured her "The isle is protected no one who is not magical can enter it, the boat will not allow them through my dear."

Morgause juggled Gwaine shifting him to her other arm so she could eat.

"When can we start then?"

Nimueh thought about it a short while "Now I suppose."

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><p><strong>AN Sorry it's so short, but there is a very good reason for it! I will update again tomorrow, with the next chapter. Please review!**


	10. Are you an Angel?

**Disclaimer: I own Merlin. Bradley James is giving me a massage right now whilst Colin rubs my feet. **

**That is called a joke. **

_A/N I know I said one day, but to be fair I was without internet. So enjoy and stuff!_

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

For Gareth time after Anna had gone quite well. For a while he had been quite heartbroken but with help from his friends and time spent with the Knights he was feeling much better. There was something else that had contributed to his now good mood, or rather someone else. Her name was Leonie. He had met her at one of the many banquets that King Lot had, she was the sister to one of the other knights, Sir Olaf he had met her while Anna had still been staying with him but although he had enjoyed her company thought nothing more of it. However a month or so after Anna had left he had seen her again. He's been at the palace about to ride out on patrol when he'd seen her talking to her brother. Her brown hair was long and in a plait and her face was alight in laughter for whatever her brother had just said. Unable to help himself Gareth had strutted over to introduce himself.

"It must have hurt when you fell from heaven" Gareth had said, his grin as wide as his face. Sir Olaf had rolled his eyes at the pathetic attempt but Leonie however raised an eyebrow.

"Why pray tell would I have fallen?"

"For you are as beautiful as an angel."

"I bet you say that to all the women." She replied before inclining her head in interest.

"No just you." He said with a blush.

"Right… I believe that." She turned her head back to Olaf and Gareth could feel his desperation increase.

"Honestly, I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever met!"

"So first I was an angel and now I'm a creature." Her face was blank but the corner of her mouth was twitching violently, she seemed to be enjoying his discomfort.

"What? No I mean yes… what I mean is…" He stuttered.

"What you mean is do I want to go for a meal with you?" She asked for him.

"Er… Yes?"

"I shall see you here when you return from your patrol." He simply stood there for a few seconds, completely confused to what had just happened. He realised from the glare he was receiving from Olaf that it was time to go.

"Right, okay… Er bye?" He said before backing away keeping eye contact with her, he then tripped and fell over. Standing back up and rubbing his bum slightly he turned and walked hurriedly off- his face bright red.

"Was there any need to torture him Leo?" Olaf asked accusingly.

"It was more for my enjoyment, you must tell me everything you know about him he is quite interesting and did you see how pretty he was?" Leonie gushed.

"Great, just great" Olaf huffed before he opened his mouth to tell her everything he knew, because if he didn't he knew she would harm him in some way probably by talking about 'Lady problems'. Leonie gobbled up all the little tit bits about Gareth with wide eyed appreciation; she had defiantly chosen the right man.

From there they say is history, they had a lovely date (she teased him the entire time) and then they began courting and only a month ago had he dropped to one knee and asked for her hand (after asking Olaf of course). She had accepted with great glee so now they were planning their wedding and Gareth had never been so stressed.

Fighting wild animals? Easy.

Arguing with the King? Easy.

Fighting for his King? Pips.

Planning a wedding with a nearly hysterical fiancé? Extremely difficult.

She had overnight gone from a kind and calm person, to a highly stressed and highly argumentative person. Sometimes talking to her was like trying to converse with a wild boar, sometimes he could even swear he saw steam coming out of her nostrils. He simply avoided her when she was on one if her tirades and hoped that once they were married she would go back to the normal non-boar woman that he loved. She was living with her brother in the citadel, so he didn't have to deal with her highly stressed too often, only for a few hours a day. Her brother was getting the brunt of it and had taken to glaring at him whenever he was there. The wedding would be a quiet affair, neither of them had much of a family so it needn't be a large thing. After the wedding she would be moving in with him, that was something he wasn't quite prepared for.

He had explained to Leonie when they first become serious about Anna, he had not lied to her, he had learnt from Anna that secrets never got you very far. Although she was shocked she was very understanding and forgave him for his mistakes she didn't seem to be annoyed about it, in fact she had said that he probably wasn't the only one.

Gareth was very confident about their relationship, he was sure that he and Leonie were meant to be in ways that he and Anna were never. He had never felt about Anna how he felt now, she although beautiful lacked the emotions and love that Leonie gave him.

Gareth heard the front door open and Leonie rushed in, her face was a little flushed but she looked less stressed than she been recently.

"It's done!" She cried in joy.

"What is?" Gareth asked.

"The wedding, it's all sorted." She replied before flopping down onto the chair.

"So you aren't going to be crazy anymore?" Gareth asked her carefully. To his surprise she gave a howl of laughter, throwing her head back as she chuckled.

"Darling Gareth, I'm always going to be crazy."

"Really?" He said his eyes wide in mock fear.

"Yes, you just wait!"

"Er... okay."

"So what have you been up to today mister?" She asked interestedly. Gareth leant forward in his chair.

"Well. I got up... I got dressed and that's about it." He confessed.

"Well you lazy man!" She sniffed at him with a small smile.

"I am not lazy."

"Yes you are, you are a man."

"You can't say that! Not all men are lazy!"

"Just you, then?" She said with a wink as he spluttered.

"What? No." He then looked blank for a second as he tried to change the subject hurriedly "So what had milady been up to today?"

"The wedding Gareth, I already told you." She said with a raised eyebrow, Gareth was getting a little flustered now.

"Did you? Right..."

"You are hopeless Gareth, pure hopeless."

"You should see me with a sword." He said confidently.

"Don't think I want to, I've been told you come up rather short in the sword area..." Gareth just look confused it took him a few seconds to get it, when he did he went beetroot red.

"Leonie, you shall be the death of me."

"Not my fault you get embarrassed so quickly." She shrugged.

"Yeah it is, you are the one who embarrasses me."

"Do I really?"

"Yes!" Gareth shouted whilst Leonie simply pouted at him.

"I offer you my humblest apologies my love."

"You're being sarcastic again aren't you?" Gareth questioned, Leonie knew just how to get to him. He loved that about her.

"Why yes I was."

"You are a pain my dear." Gareth sighed running his fingers through his hair as he smiled at her.

"Then why marry me?"

"Because, I love you."

"Why?"

"Because you are beautiful, charming, funny, witty and far more intelligent than myself." Gareth confessed leaning into to give her a kiss.

"You aren't so bad yourself Sir Gareth." She kissed him back slowly, both just enjoying spending some time together. It was several minutes till they broke apart, both were slightly breathless.

"Stay for lunch?"

"I will always stay for Maddies cooking, she is amazing that woman." Gareth gave her a crooked smile before standing and holding out his arm to help her too feet.

"That she is." He said as they entered the wonderfully smelling kitchen "That she is."

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><p><strong>AN HAPPY GARETH! YAY! I love Gareth, I know I kind of made him and so it's like big headed of me to like him... but he's so cool! Anyway, hoped you like Gareth's happiness... enjoy it while it's here...**

**Reviews save fairies and bake cookies for puppies! :D**


	11. To Safety

**Disclaimer: Don't own Merlin. **

****A/N First of all, SORRY. It is so pathetically short it's not really worth being called a chapter, but I couldn't smush it in with the last chapter or the next and it's kind of critical. So Sorry, but seriously longer chapters are now on there way, after this they are all about 2k :)

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

Morgause quickly came to the realisation that Gwaine could not have a normal life with her, not only that but he wouldn't even have much of a life. With this realisation that the only solution was to give him to Gareth, he would be much safer and happier. She knew Nimueh would never agree to her giving him to Gareth, Nimueh loved the child as if he was her own but she was blinded she could not see what was best for him. Not like Morgause could.

So one day, early in the morning when the sun was so low it was only just brushing over the lake she left. She tied a blanket around her and placed baby Gwaine in it, picked up the two letters she had written penned with the name she no longer used, and left.

The air outside was bitter the air was foggy. Morgause moved quickly in her desperation, Gareth lived far away and she had to get to him before Nimueh could catch up to her.

Morgause had been walking for hours, she was still miles from Caerleon and was close to the border of Camelot. Morgause had increased her speed, she didn't want to be close to Camelot for long, but if she had diverted away it would have taken her an extra day of walking.

She was close to leaving Camelot's lands when a party of knights came to view, with red cloaks blowing in the wind it was clear to see who they were- Camelot's knights. If they saw her she would be killed and so would her baby. So she ran, ran as fast as she could, ducking off the main track and into the thicker woods to avoid them. But they had seen her and gave chase. The wood was alight with the sound of shouts, the knights were closing in. Morgause sprinted, keeping a firm hold of Gwaine trying to avoid jostling him too much he opened his mouth to wail so Morgause muttered a silence spell on him. In the second she had taken her eyes of the path she had tripped over a root. Crashing into the ground but managing to land in such a way the Gwaine was protected. Morgause started to push herself to her feet, her hands sinking into the wet mud when a blade came into contact with the middle of her back, pushing into her painfully.

"Turn around." So she did, her arms encircling around Gwaine to protect him she looked up at the towering figure and gasped in surprise. It was her father.

"Dad?" She whispered to him, her eyes wide in fear. He looked down at her in sudden realisation.

"Morgause?" He asked brokenly, reaching forward to pull her to her feet, it was then he saw Gwaine and his jaw went slack in shock. "You need to run baby, they won't care your my daughter."

"I miss you" Morgause whispered, he shut his eyes in pain.

"I miss you too, now run for me Morgause. I need you to run." He begged her, turning his head to listen for the other knights. Morgause kissed him on the cheek and fled, leaving a broken father in her wake.

"Did you find her Goloris?" One of the Knights asked. Goloris shut his head. "Next time we'll get em'". The man clapped him on the shoulder and left. Goloris shed a single tear before turning and re-joining his men.

Morgause reached Gareth's by nightfall, she dare not knock on the door.

"One day you will be brave and strong and you will be a better person because of Gareth baby, he is the nicest person I know. He will look after you and hopefully you will be like him, the bravest and most humble man I knew." Morgause pressed a kiss to his forehead and squeezed him tight to her body. "I love you baby and that's why I'm doing this. This is for you baby." So she placed him in front of the door with the letters, he looked cold so she conjured a couple of blankets to wrap him in. She took off her necklace and placed it inside the blankets. "Bes safe Gwaine." She said softly before reaching forward and knocking on the door, she then stepped back had one more glance at Gwaine and disappeared into the night.

The door opened and Gwaine began to cry, the next part of the legend had begun.

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><p><strong>AN So there you have it, Gwaine has been dumped. What do you think? Feel sorry for Morgause? What do you think is going to happen next?**


	12. Trouble

**Disclaimer: Don't own Merlin. **

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><p>Part two: The childhood of Sir Gwaine<p>

Chapter 1/13

Three years later…

Leonie pulled her hair back from her face as she finished putting away the toy swords, he'd been a right rascal of late and it was no help when Gareth was with the war council.

From the corner of her eye she saw him moving and pounced before he could shove something else in his mouth that he shouldn't. He had recently decided that making Mummy cross was very funny, Leonie did not agree.

"No Gwaine we don't eat things from the floor, it's dirty." Leonie scolded the wriggling Gwaine. The toddler simply tried to bite her hand "And no biting, you should know better Gwaine."

"Please Mummy?" Leonie wasn't sure what he was saying please to (or Pwease) but with a little huff she reluctantly let him back down. He instantly toddled over to his wooden sword. He loved playing with swords and sharp dangerous objects, he was a danger to himself.

Leonie had married Gareth three years ago and not two weeks later a bundle of cloth containing a small child was left on their doorstep. Turning him away had never occurred to Leonie and now three years later even though he wasn't her son, she was his mother.

Gareth was away a lot these days; King Bayard had been causing trouble on the western border. It was making Caerleon's council twitchy. Leonie could feel it in her bones that war was nearly upon them, she feared for the lives of the knights; her brother, Gareth and Wilfred especially. She had to trust that they would live through such a war.

Caerleon and Gareth's house had changed very little except the addition of toys and a smaller bed. Leonie loved the house, she loved the servants who were her friends more than anything and she loved the little trips into the village (rarely taking Gwaine, he liked to run off) life was as good as it would ever be.

Gwaine had been a terrible two but he was now proving to be an even more terrible three. Leonie doubted he would ever grow out of it; he just had a pennant for trouble. He was very much like his father, dark hair and eyes. He had the mischievousness as well. Leonie knew he would grow up to be a heartbreaker.

No matter how bad he'd been, no matter what he'd done Leonie found she could rarely stay mad at him. One puppy dog glance with his beautiful brown eyes and she'd be swooning. Giving him whatever he wanted.

Gwaine had unfortunately worked this one out. It was a constant barrage of "Mummmmmyyyy" with a little whine. He'd recently learnt the power of the word please as well, that made it even worse.

Gemma entered the room carrying a tray of snacks, Gwaine seeing her rushed over as quick as his unstable little legs could carry him and latched himself to her leg.

"Now, now Gwaine be patient else you get nothing." Gemma warned pointing at him, Gwaine sank to the floor and was instantly quiet he knew that Gemma was not a woman to be trifled with. "There's a good boy" She cooed taking a biscuit of the tray and giving it to him.

"Thanks Gemma"

Gemma looked up, warmth shining in her eyes "Quite all right Leonie."

"Sit with me?" Leonie asked, doing the puppy dog eyes.

"You look like Gwaine, but fine."

"Oh thank heavens, I miss having normal conversations with adults." Leonie said sighing.

"I can imagine."

"Gwaine although brilliant does not have a very advanced intelligence."

"I wouldn't imagine so he's only two."

"Three and a month." Leonie corrected with a smile.

"Ah yes, seems so long ago that he was a small Bern." She said wistfully. "I miss having a baby."

"If that's your way of saying I should have another…"

"Well it's just you could do it again, properly." Leonie's eyebrows furrowed with anger for a second before forcibly relaxing.

"I have no regrets about Gwaine. I would love another child, lord knows we've tried." Leonie said with a wink.

"Leonie!" Gemma said in shock, flushing bright red. Leonie simply rolled her eyes at her.

"Gemma, these things should not embarrass you so." Leonie lightly scolded before adding "I can't help but think this is my only way of having a child."

"Surely not."

"I've had two miscarriages Gemma, maybe it's not my destiny." Leonie said simply, reaching down to smooth Gwaine's hair.

"Leonie I myself had two, but look at me I have four children now."

"How is your youngest?"

"A pain, the eldest is looking after her for me. She's only two but she's a pain in the bum. I dread to think of her reaching adulthood.

"You love her though?"

"Of course, to be honest the ones that are a hand full are also the most delightful." Gemma confessed "I love them all, but still a bit of rebellion reminds me of my own youth."

"Why Gemma, I never knew!" Leonie said in mock horror.

"Oh if you knew the things I got up to you in my day, enough to make your fingernails curl it were."

"Do tell?"

"No, I couldn't" Gemma said bashfully.

"Go on!" Leonie encouraged.

"Fine, well there was this one time…"

"Yes, go on?"

"I was getting there. Well me and my friend was annoyed with our brothers so we went and got some cow pat's from the field across from our house." She paused there biting her lip "Well I was only seven, we thought it would be a good idea to put it in their trousers, and you know just leave it. We didn't have much money when I was young so we only had one outfit each and well… he wore them. He didn't realise you see, he cried bloody murder after and I got a beating of him for it- it was worth it though, never saw him so angry." Gemma had a look of pride written across her face.

"Wow."

"Yeah it was a little naughty." Gemma confessed biting her lip.

"Just a little, I never did anything that exciting." Leonie said sadly, wishing that she had been a little more adventurous in her youth.

"You just wait till he's older, he gets in enough trouble as it is."

"He'll be a good little boy for your mummy won't you?" Leonie said scooping Gwaine into her arms, he looked angry at having to leave the floor.

"Please?" He said. Leonie rolled her eyes.

"It's not that he can't talk, he just seems to like the word 'please'".

"It's because when he says it he gets something." Gemma said wisely.

"I can hardly not give him something when he's saying please though can I?"

"Just make him explain what he wants, Gwaine is just lazy." Gemma laughed. Leonie bristled before realising that Gemma meant no harm by it.

"Maybe" Leonie said thoughtfully. "Will you look after him for a while; I just want to go to the village." Leonie asked hopefully. Gemma beamed in delight.

"My pleasure."

The outside air was fresh and Leonie couldn't help but take a deep breath enjoying the feel of it. Leonie strolled slowly down to the village, she'd become bored cooped up in the house for the last few days and just needed the air. Gareth would be back tomorrow most likely and it would be nice to see him, time was rarely spent together as of late.

Once she reached the village Leonie headed straight to the market, she had a list of things that Maddie had sent her to get. It was a simple list and Maddie would have gone herself but over the years she had learnt that Leonie liked to do certain things herself, shopping was one of them.

Leonie stopped at one of the cloth stalls, they had very basic cloth here it was after all for the poorer people of the area but she spotted some soft material which would be perfect for making Gwaine a set of clothes, he hardly needed anything fancy with the rate he was growing. Leonie in the end got two of the same pieces of cloth, intending to give the other to Gemma for her child. She knew Gemma was struggling so anything would be seen as an act of support.

Leonie got the rest of the things on Maddie's list and was just turning to leave when screams erupted from the bottom of the village. Startled Leonie almost dropped her items as she turned to see what the fuss was about. The people were all running in her direction and Leonie stood having no idea at what was happening until one of the villagers grabbed her arm and started pulling her violently away from the scene.

"Milady, quick we have to run!" The boy called he was only young fifteen or so his grey eyes wide in panic.

"What?" Leonie tried to ask but he was pulling her again. The screams behind her intensified and Leonie glanced behind; the village was starting to burn.

The villagers were all running up the same path, up towards the forest, screaming and crushing in their panic. A few of the villagers fell over only to be trampled on by the rest. Leonie tripped a few times but the boy had a firm grip on her and kept her upright, she was surprised at how well he was dealing with the situation.

The boy tried to tug her into the forest but Leonie pulled him the other way, taking him up towards the house. She stopped however when she saw a small girl alone on the road and she dropped the boys hand and ran over and picked her up. The boy and Leonie ran up to the house and when they eventually got their near collapsed in their tiredness.

"What the hell happened?" Leonie said through choked breaths.

"Raiders, they hit the market a few miles down last week." He explained taking the young girl out of Leonie's hands.

"Why were the knights not alerted?" Leonie questioned.

"King Lot thought it was beneath him. Who cares about a little peasant town?" He spat violently. Leonie flinched back at the acid in his tone.

"Sir Gareth my husband would, as would Sir Wilfred." Leonie disagreed hotly.

"I never said he wouldn't Lady Leonie, but we dare not go behind the King's back." He said quietly.

"I shall tell him when he returns, they shall not dare attack again." She then looked down at the little girl "Who are you sweetie?"

"Laura" She mumbled and Leonie looked back at the boy.

The boy immediately started speaking "I know her parents, I will take her home." He took the girl of Leonie and started to leave.

"Can you please send a messenger when you get her back to her parents, I also would like a damage report for Sir Gareth."

"It will be done." He and the girl disappeared down the path, it was only then she realised she hadn't asked his name.

A shaky Leonie went inside.

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><p>Gareth burst into the house the next day with a clatter of his sword and a yelp. Leonie went to meet him but he pulled her into a warm embrace, nestling his face into her hair.<p>

"Are you okay? I heard about yesterday." He asked worriedly.

"I'm fine; do you know what the damages were?"

"Not as of yet."

"I do, I asked a boy from the village to send me the list of damages and injuries, it could have been worse." Leonie said as she handed him the scroll from the table. Gareth read it quickly.

"We will have to fund the rebuilding, they don't have the resources."

"Won't King Lot donate some?" Leonie frowned at him.

"Not likely, he's saving for 'war' although some of the council just think it's an excuse, he's refused to donate any money to the kingdom in the last year." Gareth was still looking at the sheet but Leonie could hear his disgust in his voice.

"Shouldn't he help his people?"

"He is a King Leonie, they believe it beneath them." His voice was scathing.

"But that's so wrong" Leonie said horrified.

"I know, but he is the king." Gareth said. "Where is the little rascal?"

"He's in bed, having a nap." Before Leonie could tell him to not wake the little terror he was bounding up the stairs to go wake him, Leonie let out a sigh of frustration.

"Gwaine, come on soilder." Gareth whispered to his son, gently shaking him. Gwaine awoke and when through his bleary eyes he realised who it was he let out a squeal of happiness and bounced into Gareth's lap.

"You're back daddy!" He exclaimed happily, bouncing his little feet up and down.

"Yeah I am sport, I just wanted to say hi and then you can go back to sleep." Gwaine pouted.

"But sleep is boring." Gwaine complained his eyes filling with tears.

"I'll tell you what how about I tell you a story, we can get nice and comfy under the covers and I will tell you one of my best stories." Gareth promised. Gwaine considered it before climbing back into bed with Gareth laying at the edge of the bed; Gwaine laid his head on Gareth's chest and waited for the story to begin.

"There once was a powerful kingdom, more powerful than anywhere else in the whole wide world but because he was so powerful he was lonely. The King had only one friend and when his friend was ill he asked for help, the person tried to help but in the end the King's friend died. The King was very upset and he blamed the person who tried to help and all their friends for his friend's death and so he made them leave his kingdom. The King could never be happy again and he couldn't think of the past without remembering everyone he blamed- he was bitter."

"But the King only did it because he loved his friend" Gwaine muttered sleepily.

"Yes he loved his friend a lot, but if his friend knew what he had done they would be very upset."

"He didn't mean to be bad."

"Most people don't Gwaine, no one is born good or evil, it is situation that chooses that path for us. No one wants to be bad, some people do bad things simply because they think it's the right thing to do."

"Have you ever done something bad?" Gwaine asked innocently, Gareth paused before answering.

"I have, but I do not regret anything I have done."

"Why Daddy if you've been bad?"

"Because I did it because I thought it was right, all you can do in life son is just follow your heart."

"But how can I follow my heart daddy? I can't see it." Gwaine pointed out.

Gareth laughed "You will learn son, now go to sleep."

"Stay with me?" Gwaine asked tightening his hold on him.

"Always Gwaine, always" murmured Gareth.

The next day Gareth took an excited Gwaine outside taking with him two wooden swords. He handed one to Gwaine who twirled it in his fingers and then dropped it by accident. He quickly picked it up.

"Shall we practice some of the steps I told you?" Gareth asked the excited boy.

"Yes!" He said quickly moving into the ready position.

Gareth got down onto his knees so he was more level with Gwaine. "Right you have to try and prod me on the chest while I attempt to block you. Got it?"

"Right!"

"On your marks get set go" He announced. Gwaine instantly lurched straight in, thrusting his sword weakly at Gareth, Gareth tapped most of them away but let Gwaine get a couple of taps in. Gwaine liked to move while attacking, trying to sneak in a blow from the side. Gareth was quite impressed with him, although he was young he had what seemed to be a natural talent for fighting. Gareth could tell he would be a powerful knight one day.

Gareth called it a rest after an hour, Gwaine was very tired but still managed to bound into the house excitedly rushing to tell his mum what he had been up to.

"Mummy! Me and Daddy have been sword fighting and I got him loads!"

"Well done Gwaine!" Leonie praised picking him up and tickling his tummy.

Gareth went to the kitchen to get some snacks of Maddie. Maddie had never really taken to Gwaine, Gareth could never tell if she just didn't like babies or if she just didn't like Gwaine. She was old and he cared about her so he never questioned her on it, she had earned the right to be fussy he supposed.

Gwaine spent the rest of the evening jabbering at Leonie and Gareth about anything and everything. From the little mouse he's seen the other day to how good he was with his sword. Leonie listened to his ramblings with the patience only a parent could.

When Gwaine was safely and finally asleep in bed Leonie and Gareth climbed into bed ad Gareth arms snaked around Leonie pulling her against his chest. He buried his head in her hair and slotted their bodies together in the warm embrace.

"When do you have to go again?" Leonie asked.

"Another week, let's not talk about it."

"I hate you being gone." Leonie said sadly.

"As do I, but I am doing my duty to my King." He argued quietly.

"I know, I understand. I just worry for you, I don't want to raise Gwaine alone."

"You won't, you will never be alone Leonie. Never." Gareth said soothingly.

"You didn't promise not to die."

"I can't keep that promise, I won't make a promise that I can't keep. I just can't."

"I love you Gareth, so very much. You are a brave man but not only that you have a big heart. That's much more important."

"I love you too, you are the most amazing person I know." Gareth admitted stroking her cheek and kissing her cheek.

"Gareth do you want another child?"

"You know I do honey."

"So why don't we start trying?" She suggested with an eyebrow wiggle. Gareth laughed at her.

"I like the sound of that."

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><p><strong>AN Look! A longer chapter!**


	13. A Pointless war

**Disclaimer: Still haven't been given the writes to Merlin. **

_A/N I think I first of all need to clear something up. Leonie knows that Anna/Morgause is Gwaine's mother. But she is a nice person and therefore treats Gwaine as if he were her own son, and for all intents and purposes he is. Thank you again to the people who read and review this. If you read this and you have the time please leave some form of feedback because I don't know how many people actually read this if I don't base it on the figures and on alerts. If you enjoy/dislike this story just let me know- I reply to every one and Anon is on anyway. Cheers again guys and I hope you enjoy._

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><p>Gwaine was now five, and remarkably inquisitive and in constant trouble. It wasn't that he meant to get into trouble it's just that he had the bad habit of doing things he wasn't allowed. Like going into the village on his own (his mother had had a heart attack almost) and hiding in the wood shed for six hours while his mother and father ran around desperately calling for him. He found it funny, they thought it was naughty.<p>

Gwaine liked mess, Gwaine liked playing but most of all Gwaine liked playing with his toy swords. He was getting good, he could throw it from hand to hand and catch it almost every time. He could spar with any of the children his age or a little older and never loose. He was brilliant. His father always took the time to practice with him three times a week at least and Gwaine loved his dad immensely.

War had been coming to Caerleon for some time though and it appeared the time may finally be here, tensions between the two kingdoms had reached its peak and any talks of peace had long since been forgotten so Gareth was leaving, he was to lead one of the battalions, a group of 50 men. These men were both Knights and guards. Gareth would be gone indefinitely.

"Gareth, I love you." Leonie whispered, lifted off her feet by the force of Gareth's hug.

"I love you too baby." He whispered his eyes becoming wet.

"Please be safe, I need you to come back to me." Leonie begged him.

"I'll try Leonie, I'll try." Gareth gulped before scooping down to pick up his confused son.

"Look after your mummy for me." He told him.

"Okay."

"I love you so much kid, don't be naughty and be the best you can be." Gareth kept back the tears for his son, he was so young he couldn't understand.

"Love you too daddy." Gwaine leant forward and kissed his dad's cheek, Gareth cuddled him closer. Wilfred came round the corner with two horses at that point, a grim look on his face.

"Come on Garry." Gareth nodded to himself hugged Leonie with Gwaine trapped between them.

"If anything happens Leonie, please be happy for me."

"Don't think like that, nothing will happen." Gareth gave a small smile and handed little Gwaine over and tweaked his nose. He strode over and took one of the horses off Wilfred. Wilfred came over to Leonie straight away, his normally cheery face dull and depressed.

"I'll look after him Leonie, I promise you to try and bring him home safe." He whispered to her ruffling Gwaine's hair as he spoke.

"Bring yourself home as well Wilfred, safe." Leonie told him sternly, he nodded in acceptance before kissing her sadly on the cheek.

"Bye Leonie"

"Bye Wilfred." Wilfred mounted his horse and led the horse to where Gareth was waiting on his. Gareth blew her a kiss and gave her a wave and they rode off into the distance. Tears overwhelmed her and Leonie sunk to the floor. It was only then that she realised he had never said goodbye.

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><p>Leonie managed to keep herself occupied but every now and again her mind would drift to Gareth and the worry would consume her. Gwaine kept her busy though he was trying to be nice to her since he knew she was upset but then he would get bored and do something silly, except he always charmed himself out of any trouble.<p>

Leonie waited anxiously for any news of the war but all she had heard so far was that they were battling King Bayards men on the border and one village at least had been completely destroyed. Leonie spent her nights curled up in agonising worry.

"Leonie this isn't good for you." Gemma said as she changed the bed sheets. Leonie was sat in her wing backed chair watching Gwaine with a distant expression.

"Tell my husband that."

"He had to go Leonie, you know that." Gemma chided her gently folding up the dirty sheet and placing it in her hamper.

"Yes I know that. I can't help but worry."

"He will be back soon dear, you'll see." Gemma said softly walking over to crouch by her chair.

"I know he's off being brave, but I can't be brave in his absence." Leonie spoke so quietly that Gemma had to lean in closer to hear her.

"I think you're being brave, you managed to but on a face for Gwaine at least."

"He knows his dad is fighting, he just doesn't realise he could just not come back." Leonie looked over at Gwaine who was innocently playing with his toys- for the time being at least.

"Don't think like that it's no good for yourself, it will only make you feel worse." Gemma warned her.

"I know, I'll try."

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><p>It was a vicious battle, long and bloody. Gareth was sweating heavily his helmet and armour weighing him down, Gareth pulled off his helmet and threw it at his attacker, the attacker fell down unconscious. Gareth whipped around placing his back to Wilfred's fighting form. The blue of Bayard's armour surrounded the group, but Gareth knew that they were more powerful and trained than Bayard's men. Gareth also knew that Camelot's army were riding to the rescue so to speak, Uther hated Bayard and any chance to bring him down he was going to take.<p>

It was now a race, between death and Camelot and a race that Gareth most certainly didn't want to lose.

His opponent thrust his sword at Gareth but it was blocked by Gareth's sword, he swung it around forcing his opponents sword into the ground, he raised his sword again and swung it at the man, he fell over- dead.

As quickly as he despatched that opponent another one sprung up in his place, a never ending stream of attackers. Gareth parried each blow before finding an opportunity to yet again strike down his attacker leaving his staggering backwards before collapsing.

Every fight he won gave him no sense of victory, but sadness. Thousands were dying before his eyes, each death only gave him a small sense of peace that he wasn't dead- that he could return.

Gareth turned to help Wilfred with his two attackers when someone struck him in the back. His armour prevented any damage but didn't stop the wind from being knocked out of him. He barely managed to stay upright. He turned quickly, spinning lightly on the balls of his feet and knocking his attacker over with his foot- in these situations one forgets the knight code.

The attacker was down but not dead and he raised his sword in defence, if this was a normal fight. If this was a duel he would let the man go. But it was war. In war people die. His sword was stained with blood but the man no longer breathed.

"Garry, still alive back there?" Wilfred panted flooring another opponent with an elbow to the face.

"Just about, you?" Gareth asked pleasantly when another attacker launched at him, the hilt of the man's sword cutting his forehead. "Fuck!"

"Garry? You've not been stabbed right?"

"Right." Wilfred gnawed his lip in worry for his friend but had no time to help him, he himself was struggling to stay alive. Wilfred was sick of fighting and his whole body ached with tiredness, he knew that one mistake and he'd be dead.

The sun was setting turning the sky a burnt red.

The man he was fighting fell into another attacker and they landed on the hard ground. They looked scared. Wilfred gave them a chance to run, they didn't. He killed them where they lay.

Gareth could feel blood pouring down the side of his face. He could smell it. With a roar his brought down his sword on the man's head, he fell over. Another one bit the dust.

There was a sudden relieve in men. Gareth looked up and could see the dancing colours of Camelot's red capes in the distance. They were fighting from the other side of the battlefield, cutting anyone down in their path. Gareth was overwhelmed by relief, he was still alive and so was Wilfred.

It would all be okay. They were saved.

"Garry!" Wilfred yelled, Gareth turned raising his sword as he did so, but he had received the warning too late. The sword pierced across his throat and he collapsed to the floor choking on his own blood.

Wilfred was inflamed with anger; they had so nearly made it. He stabbed the sword through the man and twisted his sword inside of his making him scream in pain. Wilfred left his sword in the man condemning him to a slow and painful death and dropped to the floor beside the head of his friend.

Wilfred pressed his hands onto the wound making Gareth moan louder, the stem of the blood continued running out of him like a river, staining the floor and Wilfred.

"Please, Garry." Wilfred begged "Don't die on me."

"Not my fault Wilfred" Gareth managed to choke out. "Prom-ise me, look after Leonie an-d Gwaine." Gareth couldn't have had any blood left in him; so much was on Wilfred and the muddy ground. This was not the place for someone like Gareth to die, he deserved so much better.

"Promise old chap." Wilfred was openly crying "I love you mate."

"No-t like you to get emotional." He stuttered out. His voice was weak his eyelids drooping shut. "Tell them that- sorry." He fell silent and he gave one last juddering breath before his chest stilled.

The air suddenly felt frigid, the sound disappeared. Everything was sucked away, thought and feeling. Left behind was an icey numbness that penetrated his insides, Wilfred felt like he was dead. Panic, shock and terror knotted his stomach.

"Garry, please!" Wilfred begged but it was too late, Gareth's eyes were open and glassy. He no longer had breath in his body. Wilfred laid his head on his dead friends' chest and wept. He wept for the injustice, he wept for his friend and family but he also cried for himself.

There was a hole inside him that could never be filled, because Gareth was dead.

That was something more terrible than anything.

He would never be the same again.

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><p>Morgause felt it, she didn't know how but she just knew.<p>

Gareth was dead; the vision she had seen so long ago had come to pass. Gareth had died in a blaze of glory and blood.

Morgause had no idea how she felt about it, it had been a long time since they had seen each other and she was no longer that weak girl he had known. Instead she was a powerful sorceress taught by non-other than the high priestess of the old religion herself.

Morgause couldn't help but feel however that the world was missing one of the best men it had ever known to her Gareth would always be the knight in shining armour to her, no matter if any love had been involved or in fact that she had ever needed saving.

He had been the man of dreams but a man not for her.

Morgause walked down the corridor with her black cloak billowing behind her, her hair was contained in a bun. Morgause was more regal than she had ever been.

Things had changed for her, but it was strange when the past came back.

Three years ago her mother had died and Morgause had felt nothing. But now Gareth had died and she felt unsettled and unsure.

Gareth had the one thing she had entrusted to him, her son. She could only hope that he would be cared for because she stood by her decision. He did not belong here.

She did not know if he had powers, but he could not be with her.

Some mistakes you can never undo.

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><p><em>AN I am horrible, I know I am. But it had to happen. In the TV series it is made quite clear that Gwaine's dad died while Gwaine was young because he didn't know him. Therefore- keeping with cannon I had to kill my lovely sweet amazing brilliant Gareth. He honestly is my favourite character, maybe because I just killed him and I'm feeling sentimental. But I will miss writing him. I hope you will miss him too._

**Please review my lovely readers!**_  
><em>


	14. Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

A/N I am sorry I killed Gareth, really sorry. But things happen, enjoy the update!

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><p>Wilfred walked up the road to the proud house on the hill, the house could not calm his fraught nerves or his sadness. Wilfred shut his eyes briefly as images of blood and destruction danced across his eyelids. He was almost at the house and he was dreading having to knock on the door.<p>

The ground squelched beneath his feet, the bottom of his cape and his shoes covered in thick mud. He could not care about such petty things though.

The door was suddenly in front of him, seemingly mocking him. Wilfred half raised his arm before dropping it and sighing, he couldn't help but put it off when he was about to ruin two lives forever. His head touched the wood of the door, the coldness of it easing his persistent headache slightly.

He could no longer put it off so he knocked on the door, his knuckles scratching against the wood. The scroll in his hand was heavy but only because of the words it carried. Wilfred wanted to throw it in the mud but he had to give it to her.

The door opened with a soft creak and Leonie smiled at him in relief looking past him for Gareth. But Gareth wasn't here.

Her eyes dropped to the scroll in his hand and her eyes widened filling with tears, her mouth moved but no words came out.

"I'm sorry Leonie" At this she burst into tears.

"Please no." She cried heartbrokenly. "Please." She begged, Wilfred merely shook his head, his own face crumpling in despair for her. "How?" She whispered.

Wilfred didn't want to tell her of the brutality of his death nor that he suffered. So he lied. "He died in battle, it was instant." Leonie collapsed onto the floor drawing her legs up and sobbing.

"He didn't feel any pain?" She asked desperately.

"None at all." He hated himself, but he had to. It was for her. Gareth's shuddering breaths would haunt him, but they didn't have to haunt Leonie.

Wilfred scooped the crying Leonie up and put on her chair in the room. She didn't seem to notice.

"Did we win?" She muttered.

"Caerleon won, yes." He said slowly.

"So why does it feel like we lost?" She cried angrily. "Why did our King have the right to do this?"

"Leonie…"

"Leave Wilfred. Get out." She shouted at him her finger pointing at the door. Wilfred knew it would be pointless to argue and he couldn't stand seeing her like this, so he did as he was told and scarpered. Once outside Wilfred let the tears flow, he gave a shout of pain and punched the wall with all his might. His hand gave an audible crack and Wilfred stumbled back clutching his hand. Physical pain was so much better than emotional pain. His knuckles were red a bleeding and one of them appeared to have broken. Wilfred looked at his hand blankly before disappearing into the night.

Leonie couldn't stop the flow of tears, she couldn't believe her husband was dead. She couldn't believe he had left her.

He would never stroke her face or kiss her goodnight and he would never again say that he loved her.

Worst of all he would never see his son grow up, never see him mature into a strong brave man. Leonie couldn't think of anything worse, he was missing out on the world's greatest adventure.

He insides hurt, her throat was raw and all she could take solace in was the fact that he hadn't suffered, that he had felt no pain. He hadn't had the chance to feel or panic. He hadn't had the chance to say goodbye.

Her world would be dark and dull without him. Everything would lose its colour because he was her everything.

Leonie heard the rush of little feet and she looked up, Gwaine had rushed into the room and was staring at her. He rushed over and crawled into her lap, wrapping his arms around her.

"Mummy, what's wrong? Don't cry please." Gwaine begged his little hands clenching on the back of her dress.

"Gwaine, I have to tell you something." Leonie said before inhaling deeply. "Daddy isn't coming home baby."

"Why?"

"Your daddy is a brave man and he was protecting us. A very bad man hurt him badly. He's dead honey." Leonie managed to stutter out, watching the youngsters confused face.

"When can I see daddy?"

"You can't honey, he's in the sky now. Looking after us."

"I want to see daddy." Gwaine cried, his tears running down his cheeks his face becoming blotchy.

"So do I honey." Leonie told the crying boy, she began to rock him, hoping that she'd be able to calm him. It didn't work. "So do I."

Leonie placed Gwaine in her bed, he had cried himself to sleep. Leonie lay down next to him and cuddled him into her. She closed her eyes against the pain. She tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes she saw Gareth, his body covered in red his eyes closed.

Needless to say she didn't sleep at all that night.

The next day Gemma took Gwaine and looked after him, Leonie felt lethargic and simply lay in bed all day. She refused all the foods she was offered and chose to just drink the water she brought. Leonie was numb and lifeless. Her eyes dull and her hair limp. It was as though all the life in her had been sucked out, leaving her as nothing more than a shell.

This continued for several days, she was wasting away in front of them. Gemma began to forced feed her, Leonie didn't react. She ate the food and never flinched. She was instantly sick. The next day Gemma fed her again in the morning, this time just the presence of the food made her throw up. Gemma was panicking she did not want her friend to die; she didn't want Gwaine to lose another mother.

So she fed her again later, surprisingly she kept it down and some colour returned to her face. Gemma was relieved, maybe now she would be okay. In the next two days Leonie threw up at least once a day and it was then that Gemma realised what she had those years ago with Anna. Leonie was pregnant.

"Leonie?" Gemma called but there was no reaction. "Leonie?" Nothing again, not even a flicker or a flinch. Nothing. No recognition at all. "Leonie I think- I think you are pregnant."

There was no reaction for several minutes but eventually Leonie simply laid her hands on her stomach and gave a sad smile. It wasn't much, but maybe she was getting better.

Leonie still wasn't talking but she was at least eating, she seemed to be slightly better and Gwaine was spending his nights curled up by her side.

Gemma theorised that Leonie was internalising the pain rather than having to actual deal with it, but it wasn't the right way. She had to deal with the pain so she could move on.

Wilfred came to see her, it was early in the day and he was wearing his normal plain clothes and a sombre expression. Leonie was sat up eating when he entered the room.

"Good to see you eating" No reply. "Come on Leonie, enough is enough." Leonie glared at him. "What about Gwaine? You're hurting him, he's already lost one parent don't make him lose another."

"He's lost both his parents. I am not his mother." Leonie said harshly.

"Yes you are, you may not have given birth to him but you are everything else." Wilfred said consolingly leaning forward to place a hand on her shoulder, she flinched away.

"I can't do this without him" Leonie cried.

"You can there is no woman I know that is stronger than you." Wilfred argued, Leonie looked down and started playing with her dress.

"There is, I am not strong."

"You are."

"Then why do I feel broken inside?" She cried.

"Oh Leo, come here" He said pulling her into his arms.

"He can't be dead."

"I'm sorry, he died in front of me."

"Why did he die? Why couldn't it have been you?" She sobbed into his shirt. Wilfred sighed.

"I wish it had been me." He muttered. They stayed like that for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms sharing the grief of Gareth's loss. Wilfred clutched her to him wishing he could have kept his promise while Leonie selfishly wished someone else would have died instead. It hurt to have lost him, hurt in a way that would never heal for wither of them. Gareth had been such a big part of them and now he was gone, gone while they suffered in his absence.

"Wilf, I'm pregnant." Leonie muttered eventually, Wilfred stiffened in shock.

"Pregnant?" He felt her nod against him "Gareth would have been so happy, he always wanted a child with you." He whispered.

"I don't want to do it without him; he missed the birth of his first child now he will miss it again."

"Life isn't fair, nothing ever is. But what you're going to do is get off that bed, get dressed and go spend time with your son. Then you are going to arrange Gareth's memorial. Okay Anna?"

"Yes, you're right." Leonie said pulling back the covers determinedly and standing on shaky legs. "Stronger than this." She said angrily walking over to the screen and disappearing behind it. Wilfred hovered unsure on what exactly to do. Leonie threw her night dress over the screen and Wilfred could here muttering from behind the screen. Wilfred found himself worrying for her sanity.

Five minutes later she left the room fully dressed. Her hair wasn't done, her dress wasn't quite fastened right but she was at least out of bed. Wilfred followed her like a shadow with Leonie just ignoring his presence.

Leonie stepped into the room and plastered a fake smile on her face before crouching behind the playing Gwaine.

"Gwaine what are you doing today?" Leonie asked, her voice was slightly hoarse and Wilfred could see the stiffness of her back. Gwaine didn't reply but simply flung himself at her chest his little arms wrapping around her tightly.

Leonie hugged her son tightly to her, inhaling deeply. Her little angel was shaking against her slightly, Leonie made little shushing noises at him trying desperately to make up for all she had done wrong.

It would be okay. It had to be.

Gareth's memorial was held in the grounds of the house, there was around five hundred people there to celebrate his life and to mourn his passing. There was Knights and guards that he had served with in his battles. But also the entire village of Craelic had turned out and members of some of the other local villages. Leonie's brother had also turned up.

The air was light and slightly breezy the sky clear of rain. The people all talked amongst themselves in hushed whispers. Leonie stood at the front with Olaf and Wilfred beside her and Gwaine on her hip. There was a man King Lot had sent to carry out the service (Leonie was angry that he wasn't here himself after everything Gareth had sacrificed for him.) The man was short and fat with a bushy grey beard which contrasted greatly with his bald head.

The man had a rather annoying voice Leonie had decided in her chat to him before the memorial- it was rather like a whine. Leonie did care for the man and wished that she had been able to run the service herself; unfortunately King Lot had stuck his ungrateful nose in their business.

"Sir Gareth of Lyonsesse was a brave man and Knight. He died nobly defending his King and country. King Lot himself has offered his condolences to the bereaved and insists that Sir Gareth was a man of honour and of integrity who shan't be forgotten. Dulce et Decorum est. Sir Gareth" the little irritating man proclaimed

"Sir Gareth" the crowd chanted back.

Leonie was fuming as the stupid man stepped back with a smug little smile. Leonie stepped forward and the crowd regarded her quizzically. It was not right for a Lady to talk at a memorial.

Gareth was her bloody husband and if she wanted to talk she would.

Snotty little men aside.

"Sir Gareth was more than just a warrior as Igran of Caerleon pointed out, he was also a husband a father and a friend.

To me he wasn't Sir Gareth but just Gareth- the most charming and amazing man I knew. Not because he could wield a sword or that he charged into battle but because of all the other things.

He cared so much for his land, for the people on his land. His heart was his single greatest asset and his greatest weakness. No one could meet Gareth and not love him- not respect him. He was more than a name and a sword.

To his friends he was Garry. But most importantly to his son he was Daddy." Leonie paused to look at Gwaine, who's wise eyes wewre looking at her knowingly. Leonie took a deep breath and blinked back the tears to continue.

"Gwaine loved his father and Gareth doted on him. Nothing was more important to him than Gwaine. Gareth did not die for his King, anyone who believes this is a fool." Leonie said hotly glaring at the little man who scowled at her. "He died for his son, so his son could continue to have his life and future.

Dulce et decorum est- a touching sentence but an insult to his legacy.

Gareth was a man of the people of honour and bravery. He was selfless and loving. He was my husband and I loved him. I still love him.

So please remember not Sir Gareth the brave but Sir Gareth the friend, lover and father." Leonie took a deep breath and returned to her place next to a stunned Wilfred. Applause rang through the crowd and Leonie could see a few of the knights wiping tears from their eyes. Maybe because they realised that not everyone saw them as dispensable.

"Good one sister." Olaf said. Leonie swing around to see if he was being sarcastic or not, he raised a beefy palm and clutched her shoulder. "This is what we all needed."

"I only worry what Lot will do when he finds out." Leonie worried her lip.

"He shan't do anything." Wilfred promised "We will always look after you Leonie- for Gareth and for you." Olaf nodded in agreement.

"Thank you, both of you. It means a lot." Leonie said thankfully.

"Do not get too used to us the battle for the border is far from over my dear, in fact I fear it ever will be." Wilfred admitted.

"So all those lives were for nothing?" Leonie said in disgust.

"Not for nothing, as you said Leonie it was for all of us." Olaf said slowly, he fisted one hand as he spoke. "But Bayard is only humbled- he will come back stronger soon enough."

"A war is not won in one battle." Wilfred muttered. The crowd was slowly dispersing now leaving them as some of the only ones left.

"War is pointless." Leonie argued.

"Everything has a point Leonie; it's simply whether or not it's worth it. We will build a future for our children that is better than what we had." Olaf countered.

"As long as our children have anything left you mean. May I speak in confidence to you both?" They nodded slightly "I do not trust our Kings rule he is leading us to dangerous times."

"Be careful of what you speak sister, you are bordering on treason." Olaf said frightfully glancing around them and shifting his feet.

"What I speak is what I think. The King cannot control my thoughts or my opinion." Leonie said shortly glaring at her brother as though he had grown an extra head. "It is not treasonous to doubt, it is treasonous to plan against- I would never do such a thing."

"Because you are a woman" Olaf said his cheeks reddening.

"No, because I am a mother. I have a greater goal in life than to die on some fool's errand." Leonie said angrily. Gwaine had long since wandered off, probably inside for some food. Gemma would have likely prepared some for him. Gemma was a firm believer in comfort food.

"He is not even your son." Olaf spat, letting five years' worth of annoyance get the best of him "You are fooling no one."

"Leave her alone Olaf, Gwaine is as much her son as he was Gareth's." Wilfred said wrapping his hand around the handle of his sword.

Leonie was just shocked, she knew other people said such things but she had never believed that her own brother would say it.

"I speak only the truth. I warned you when he was first dumped at your door."

"I said then what I shall say now. What is Gareth's is mine, I would never would turn away a helpless child. But would you Olaf?" Leonie questioned stepping towards her brother. "Would you leave a innocent baby to die?"

Olaf said nothing.

"Perhaps you are not the man I thought you were." Leonie said sadly.

"It is not that Leonie but-"

"Do yourself a favour and leave- it was a simple question and your silence answered me more than anything. I love you Olaf. But you must learn to accept my decisions."

"You are my sister."

"That is not an argument but a fact, perhaps you have forgotten but you do not control me Olaf." Leonie spat fiercely raising herself higher "and you never shall."

"You should do as I say, I am your closest living male relative and therefore you shall listen to me and do as I say." Olaf argued both palms fisted and struggling to regain his calm.

Wilfred looked on worriedly hand on sword ready to draw it if anything went down.

"I do not care. You do not own me, I am not property." Leonie was shaking with anger.

"By law-"

"You are my brother, a Knight. So called noble and brave. Yet everything you say proves otherwise. Tell me dear brother, because I am dying to know. In the battle of the borders where were you?" Leonie asked, Olaf looked away avoiding her gaze. "Were you in the middle of the fight like my husband and Sir Wilfred or were you cowering in a corner?"

"I do not have to answer such questions from you." He snarled his jaw twitching violently.

"Why? For I am a woman?"

"Yes."

"Or maybe because you don't want to admit the truth- my husband was ten times the man you are."

"Sir Gareth was a good knight- but he was killed because he was distracted." Olaf said defensively.

"Wilfred, tell me where was _Sir_ Olaf during the battle?"

"He requested to be sent to fetch Camelot's troops." Wilfred said through gritted teeth.

"Did he now?" Leonie mused. "Tell me brother; did that task require a knight of your standing?"

"I felt it was necessary for myself to go."

"So you wouldn't die you mean?" Leonie said darkly.

Olaf said nothing.

"Good men died on that battlefield." Wilfred said darkly "They could have benefited from another Knight on hand."

"You staying could have saved lives." Leonie said angrily.

"Me leaving saved lives."

"You left a less trained man in your place, anyone could have fetched Camelot." Leonie paused for breath "Let's face it you are naught but a coward."

"I am not! How dare you!"

"Does King Lot even know about this brother?" Olaf didn't reply.

"He does not" Wilfred cut in glaring at Olaf. "Olaf requested it not be mentioned."

"Wanted to get the glory did you?" Leonie spat.

"It is not like that!"

"You are a trained warrior, you have fought in thousands of skirmishes but you panicked. You panicked." Leonie accused.

"What are you going to do?" Olaf questioned.

"Nothing if you in turn do nothing. You don't own me and you don't control me. Is that understood?" Leonie asked Olaf nodded in reply. Leonie turned to walk away but before she could she swung back around and punched Olaf hard on the nose causing it to give an audible crack, Olaf crumpled to the floor in pain. Blood flowed freely from it while he clutched it and swore. "That's for my husband and all of the brave men who died." Leonie said angrily at the crumpled form of her once proud brother. "Wilfred will you please do me the honour of escorting me to my house."

"Certainly my Lady." Wilfred walked over to her and gently grasped her elbow. Both of them ignored the crunch of Olaf's fingers under Wilfred's boots.

The walk to the house was quite pleasant after that.

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><p>Update will be coming soon.<p> 


	15. Knowing One's Place

**Disclaimer: Still haven't been given the writes to Merlin. **

_A/N Thank you for all the reviews, this is short but I can't stick it in front of next chapter- wouldn't fit. Trust me, so enjoy. _

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><p><span>Knowing One's Place<span>

Igran was fuming; a stupid little woman had shown him up in front of all of those people, he was now a laughing stock.

Not only that but she had broken protocol, she should not have been allowed to speak in front of all those people.

Igran was a firm believer that women should be seen and not heard. Leonie was nice to look at but a pain to be with. Igran would hate to be wed to a woman so vile.

His own wife knew when to hold her tongue and he was not too afraid to tell her when she was wrong. Unlike Sir Gareth.

A mouthy woman was as much use as a lame horse.

But Igran was determined to make her pay for her actions, for making him a fool in front of commoners and Knights.

He knew how to do it after all, he was an advisor to the King he was the sort of person who could make things happen. He could do what he wished, she would never know it was him and she would get her reward.

Igran was a councillor and he had many ties with the neighbouring kingdoms, there were many people willing to pay for instability within Caerleon and Igran was only too happy to accept it. It wasn't that Igran was evil, he just liked to step in the grey side of law and morality. Igran craved power, money and influence above everything else.

He had been taught from a young age that women and commoners where beneath him and it was these lessons that would forever be instilled in him.

Lady Leonie would have no idea what hit her.

Igran chuckled in glee, he had hoped when he was first given the task of hosting Sir Gareth's memorial that he could perhaps convince the feeble woman to returning with him, he had room for a mistress.

He had supposed she would be desperate for help and for support. She could not support herself after all. But instead she had been a proud, strong woman and it angered Igran that he had not got what he wanted.

Not to mention the land as prosperous as Lyonesse that he could have gained.

It did not matter anymore, women would always be beneath and he had not got to the standing he was without standing on a few toes and breaking a few laws. It would not change now. King Lot was a brave man but a man easy to lead- especially when his pride was at risk. He had done it to disgrace several of the knights; these knights had threatened everything Igran believed in. They were fighters of equality and of peace. Peace and equality would not benefit Igran. So he had had them disgraced with a few words in some important ears it had been done.

He didn't even feel slightly guilty about it.

He had done it before and he would do it again.

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><p><em>AN He's such a nasty piece of work! Hell of a lot of fun to write though. As you may have noticed I am trying to show how much sexism there would have been back then in comparison to now. It's so short I will update tomorrow, it is only 500 words! Please review people! _

_-Updates may start coming very slow, I have my final A level exams coming up (bricking it) so apologises in advance. _


	16. For Craelic

**Disclaimer: Still haven't been given the writes to Merlin. **

_A/N Now this is a long one to make up for the wait, enjoy! _

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><p><span>For Craelic<span>

Gwaine ran through the woods feeling the wind blow through his hair, he let out a shout of glee as he did. He felt so free.

Behind him he could hear his friend Peter running, his breath coming in gulps. Peter wasn't as fit as Gwaine. The two eight year olds were racing, although Gwaine didn't count it as a race when he knew he was going to win. It wasn't that he was big headed (although he was) it was that he was a very athletic boy that spent the majority of his time running from something. Running tended to build up a good stamina.

Peter was a slightly weedy boy, small in size but he was also a bit of a pain. He was a son of one of the Knights in the area but was deemed too weak by his father to train; his older brothers got all the glory instead. Peter was awkward and shy but mostly annoying. He tended to follow Gwaine around asking him what he was doing and why. Gwaine never really knew what he was doing or why he was doing it. Most of the time he did it because it seemed like a good idea at the time. It generally never was.

His mother berated him constantly for it, but she could never keep the smile out of her eyes.

See although he was disadvantaged because of the dead father thing, it was also a huge advantage which was something he had learnt quickly. He reminded his mother of his father, so she never could get truly mad at him and it also got him the sympathy vote with strangers.

In fact the only person who treated him normally was Sir Wilfred. Sometimes that felt great, it stopped him feeling like he was living in a shadow that he could never escape- everyone told him how great his father was but he didn't know him so how could he know? Sir Wilfred sparred with him, trained him. After each practice he would tell him a story about his dad, just something. Sometimes it would be a long story and others just a snippet. So it was great but at other times it was as though Wilfred could see inside him, as if he was the only one who understood him. Gwaine didn't like that at all.

Gwaine liked that he only understood himself.

He liked his secrecy and he liked his secret hide outs. Peter had been to most of them simply because Gwaine just couldn't seem to shake the boy off.

His favourite place was a clearing of burnt trees surrounding a little pool. Peter hated that place and would not stay long- he said the trees were haunted. Gwaine however thought it was brilliant and he spent most of his time there making stories about how the trees had blackened.

He also liked to practice his sword skill either against Peter or just with himself. His sword although light and flimsy was his most prized possession and his most loyal friend. He had never used it in a real fight but Gwaine was determined that when he did use it, he wouldn't be killed like his father. He would survive.

"Gwaine I hate it here." Peter whined.

Gwaine pushed into the clearing and sank onto a grassy boulder.

"I didn't tell you to come did I? Go home if you're scared" Gwaine mocked the boy; Peter to his credit just followed him silently- at least for a while.

"Joanie says the wood is haunted." He worried.

"You shouldn't listen to such wives tales." Gwaine said with an air of importance. Peter just shook his head sadly at Gwaine.

"She said that a girl died here, from the village. That she was murdered." Peter said dramatically, Gwaine rolled his eyes at the boy.

"You tell me this all the time, I don't believe it."

"But it's true! Last time we came here and you ran off remember? I Couldn't find you for hours… well I stumbled to this tree and there was this rotted basket under it and well further up the path, there was a stone with an marking on it Gwaine." Peter whispered.

"Yeah and what did it say?"

"Rest In Peace beloved Jean. May the one who fell you be cursed." Peter said waving his arms around for affect.

Gwaine wasn't impressed "And? So why does that have anything to do with this?"

"Don't you think it's weird, this perfect circle of burnt trees?" Peter questioned.

"Not really Peter and nor should you." Gwaine shrugged it off; even if it was caused by magic it hardly changed anything. He still loved this place he couldn't see why he should be scared of a place so long after something had happened. It was all just silly.

"I don't understand why you aren't scared."

"Because some of us aren't cowards." Gwaine replied with a frown.

"I am not a coward!" Peter said indignantly.

"Yes you are, you are scared of everything." Gwaine replied twirling a stick between his fingers.

"Being scared is nothing to be ashamed of." Peter said angrily.

"Yes it is, being brave is much more important." Gwaine was hardly paying attention to Peter, and it only angered him more.

"Sometimes being scared makes us stronger."

"Not when you're scared of everything." Gwaine broke the twig between his fingers with a loud snap.

"I am not. You are scared you just daren't admit it." Peter roared.

"Am not."

"Yes you are! You are scared of water, scared of war. Scared of your mum dying- face it you are far more scared than me." Peter realised as soon as he had finished his tirade that he had gone too far because Gwaine stood up suddenly and advance towards him tightening his fists.

"I'd run if I were you." Gwaine warned violently and Peter did, he sprinted from the clearing as fast as his legs would take him.

Gwaine didn't follow.

Gwaine wasn't a coward, he wasn't. He wasn't scared of anything- Peter was making stories up again just like he was about the dead person.

"I am not a coward!" Gwaine screamed, his voice echoed around the dead trees his voice booming back to him. Gwaine felt better for his release but still picked up a large branch and hurled it at a tree. He was more than pleased when the branch snapped cleanly in two. Feeling much better Gwaine left his clearing returning home before his mother worried too much.

When he entered he could hear his mother talking worriedly, instantly curious Gwaine poked his head around the door to see what was going on. His mother was talking to Wilfred, Gwaine could just about see the back of his head.

"We have no money left, Wilfred the harvest was appalling." His mother fretted.

"I am sure you can find a way you always do." Wilfred consoled her.

"I don't know. I can hardly afford the servants let alone the children."

"Why not petition to the King?" Wilfred suggested his head bobbing slightly as he talked.

"Not until I have no other options, I still have my pride." Leonie said hotly.

"Your brother?" The way he said it was almost timid, Gwaine realised why only a few seconds later when Leonie jumped to her feet and began to pace.

"Not him" she spat "I shall not let him think he has any hold over me."

"You used to be so close"

"Before I realised that he was nothing but a coward." Leonie said angrily.

"Maybe it's time to forgive him; you can't blame him for being scared." Wilfred pointed out.

"I can. He got to live whereas Gareth died." Leonie would not budge and Gwaine could sense his uncle's frustration as he inhaled deeply.

"I cannot help you Leonie, I can only support you so much. You will need their help and you know it."

"There are ways, there are always ways."

"Leonie forget your pride and think of your children! You need help, if not this year then the next and what about the year after that?"

"Like you said, I always find a way." Leonie said turning on the spot. Gwaine shifted uneasily worry sinking in his stomach. He hated to see his mother like this. "I cannot let the villagers starve- so I will loan them the money so they can grow next year's harvest. I will also try to set up trade routes with Camelot or even Mercia- it's possible. We have craft people in the village and we should be able to make something from that. I have enough I think to get us through the next few years- depending of course. We will be okay. I think." Leonie said confidently.

"You will need help." Wilfred agreed.

"Yes, but I have you. I can also ask for some from King Lot- he cannot refuse something that will help his kingdom. Olaf will help if I give him a percentage of the profits."

"I thought you didn't want help?" Wilfred asked, his voice laced in confusion.

"No Wilfred, there is a difference between receiving hand outs and earning it in my own right. I do not lose my pride or my ground this way." She paused thoughtfully "Plus if I asked for money then I would only need more next year- I will not be dependent on the will of others."

"I understand- I will help in any way I can Leonie you know I will." Wilfred promised heart fully.

"I know Wilf you have done so much for me." Leonie told him with a smile walking over and taking his hand.

"I do it for you and Garry." Wilfred told her "I will always look after you Gwaine and the little one. You know I will."

"I do, but I think sometimes you need to move on with your own life." Leonie told him "Find a nice woman, wed her have your own family."

"I already have a nice woman" Wilfred told her.

"I am not your woman and you are not my man. We both know this Wilfred."

"Yes" Wilfred said quietly, Gwaine winced in sympathy for him. He seemed upset.

"Wilfred don't pout at me. Now get of your bum you promised Gwaine a lesson tonight." Leonie warned him wagging her finger at him, Wilfred let out a sigh before standing.

"I know I did, Gareth was right about him you know I've said it before and I'll say it again he's a natural. I haven't seen a single knight like him you know." Wilfred praised, Gwaine glowed in pride he didn't know that's what Wilfred thought of him he had never mentioned it before.

"That's because he is Gareth's son." Leonie said softly. "Now go!" She shooed. Wilfred laughed and walked towards the door. Gwaine panicked and bolted outside picking his sword up from beside the door as he went. Gwaine went to their practice area and began to do some of his practice moves hoping Wilfred wouldn't notice he had been spying on them.

The sun was slowly sinking over the horizon and Gwaine couldn't help but feel the weakness in his bones as he lifted his sword, it was too late to practice he much preferred it when they could do it mid-day but Wilfred had duties to attend to and could only visit once or twice a week and normally in the evening unless he was blessed with a day off which only happened rarely.

Gwaine thrust his sword forward feeling the lightness of his feet as he did, he twisted on the balls of his feet pulling the sword back before swinging it out again against an invisible attacker. His moves were getting much more fluid, when he had first learnt that move the weight of the sword had sent him tumbling to the floor bur now he could do it—easy as.

"I see you got started without me." Wilfred said with a chuckle from behind him.

"Wilfred!" Gwaine said happily walking over to the older man and inclining his head slightly in respect. Wilfred ruffled his hair and Gwaine frowned up at him in annoyance. "I thought today we could maybe move on to hand on hand combat."

"But I thought that there were rules to being a knight?" Gwaine questioned thoughtfully "I thought the fight had to be honourable."

"Well yes, a fight in a controlled setting or a competition will be. But real life isn't quite like that Gwaine, in real life we have to throw out our morals in order to survive."

"I don't get it, why would we need to have hand to hand when we can use a sword?"

"You might not always have your sword; you might not always be wearing armour. Life hardly ever throws us a situation we are prepared for. In a fight to the death it's all about survival and the most important thing is to be prepared for any eventuality." Wilfred said patiently. Gwaine nodded slightly slowly starting to understand that fighting was about practicality and not so much about honour.

"What do I need to do?" Gwaine said determinedly placing his sword carefully off to the side and rolling up his sleeves.

"I will first teach you some blocks." Wilfred told him. "Place your arm across in front of you- like you would hold a shield." Gwaine did as indicated. "When I go to punch you I want you to bring your arm around and try to deflect my fist to the side."

"Okay" Gwaine said frowning in concentration as he stared at Wilfred. Wilfred smiled slightly and without warning struck out at Gwaine. Gwaine was taken by surprise but managed to bring his arm up to meet Wilfred's fist. He was too slow however to deflect it and instead his fist simply collided with his forearm painfully. Gwaine yelped and rubbed his now throbbing forearm.

"It's about reflexes; to stay alive you have to be quick. Again."

They tried again and again and again.

Gwaine was tired, frustrated and fed up. He had only managed to deflect the punch once and then he'd accidently hit himself in the head with his own fist. With his head now throbbing and his arm bruised Gwaine felt it was time to call it a night. It didn't help that Wilfred was smirking at him.

"Stop it." Gwaine huffed crossing his arms across his chest and wincing when he tightened his painful arm.

"Stop what Gwainey?" Wilfred laughed.

"Laughing at me."

"I am not laughing at you. I think it's brilliant that you've done so well."

"I've done rubbish; all I have learnt is that even your weak punches bruise."

"Nonsense, you are one of the fastest learners I have ever taught and you sustained more than a knight would under such training." Wilfred praised.

"So I didn't do badly then?" Gwaine asked hopefully.

"No, not at all." Wilfred said solemnly.

"Really?" Gwaine asked biting his lip.

"Would I lie to you Gwaine?" Wilfred cocked his eyebrow and stared at the boy who shifted uncomfortably.

"You never have before. About anything." Gwaine told him.

"I shall never lie to you Gwaine; it harms you more than it helps. It is counterproductive."

"Right." Gwaine said not understanding the word.

"It means it would not help matters" Wilfred explained. "Now we have that sorted out we can talk about your dad if you want. I'm sure there is something you don't know yet" Wilfred suggested.

"I suppose" Gwaine said trying to sound not that interested, he failed if Wilfred's quite chuckle was anything to go by.

"Well back when your dad was just a lad there was this lady called Helen." Wilfred began leading Gwaine to the small bench outside the house. "Now your dad wasn't as good looking back then, a bit weedy looking." Wilfred said distantly "Now Helen was not impressed with your dad following her around like a lost puppy. So she turned around one day when he was following her with a bouquet of wildflowers, she snatched the flowers out of your dads hand threw to the floor and stamped on them. Not just a little either, she stomped on them until there was nothing left. She told him to not come near her ever again- he was very upset. Asked me why he wasn't as good with the ladies as me."

"Did he really say that?" Gwaine interrupted doubtfully.

"Something to that affect. But it was fine in the end, she fell over into a pile of mud the week after and we got a good laugh at her. Your dad moved onto more beautiful ladies after, he was a hard one to put down he was."

"My mother? He moved on to my mother, right?" Gwaine asked.

"Not straight away, he was a young lad and a bit of a scallion. He wasn't very fortunate with the ladies until he met your mother. Now Gwaine I think it's time for bed don't you?"

"Fine, will you be back this week?" Gwaine asked. Wilfred paused for a second before inclining his head.

"I believe I should have the day off in two nights, I am not promising though. The King is being awkward as of late."

"I shall see you soon then, thank you Wilfred." Gwaine said with a shy smile before hugging him slightly and running inside.

Wilfred sighed as he walked home, Gwaine reminded him more of Gareth every day, he could only hope that his training would allow Gwaine to survive where his father hadn't because one thing was for sure Gwaine would be involved in some sort of conflict when he was older, he was too brave not to. Gwaine would have to outlive his father; otherwise the world would just not be fair.

Leonie raised her quill with a weary sigh it had been a long day and she just wanted to go sleep for a long while. She had spent the whole day writing her plans for Craelic. She was going to petition to Olaf tomorrow not that she had told him. She was slightly worried to what was going to happen, she was scared he would refuse her and the entire of craelic would suffer for it. She wouldn't put it past Olaf to hold a grudge against get for the argument they had three years ago it summed up how pathetic her brother could be really. Leonie felt her age and more so she was so sick of life getting her down.

Three years ago; eight months after the death of Gareth she had given birth it had been a bit touch aka go for a while and Gemma had feared both she and the baby would die.

Luckily both she and the baby had been fine. She'd named her baby girl Louisa and although she was a sickly child she had survived thus far and was a charming little girl. Louisa was pampered by everyone including her big brother - he doted on her when he was around. Louisa was completely different to Gwaine she was quiet and much more mellow. Although she was only three years old so much of that could change.

Leonie loved both of her children equally although they both had little quirks about them that made them special to her. Gwaine was so much like Gareth from his behaviour to his mannerisms he was a wonderfully mischievous little boy with a heart of gold. Louisa however was Leonies daughter in blood and she couldn't help but be overjoyed about that fact. Louisa was also the kindest person she had ever known and she would have said that even if she wasn't biased.

Leonie had memorised what she was going to say tomorrow but that didn't really decrease her nervousness. The candles in the room were nearly burnt out the light flickering. Leonie stood and climbed into bed. Pulling the cover up to her chin Leonie wrapped herself deep into the covers snuggling into the warmth. Leonies eyes drifted shut and she fell into troubled dreams.

The next day had come all too quickly and before she knew it she was waiting in the drawing room of her childhood home wearing her best dress.

It was a Manor house one of the oldest of Caerleon. It was panelled in dark wood which had the effect of making the rooms look smaller and also creepy of you are on your own. The house did not hold many happy memories for her she had always felt very isolated in it. There were no other houses for miles and get parents had travelled a lot leaving her with a different nanny every time.

"Oh"said Olaf heavily.

"Expecting someone else?" Leonie asked with a raised brow.

"Well I wasn't expecting you" Olaf said not unkindly.

"I have come to speak with you, brother."

"What more is there to say?" Olaf said blandly staring out of the window to avoid looking at her.

"I come not for me but for Craelic."

"I thought you did not need my help Leo." Olaf looked away from her as he spoke but the hurt in his voice was obvious.

"The type of help you were offering I didn't want, I am my own person Olaf and you know that." Leonie spoke softly feeling slightly guilty for the argument three years ago. Although in her mind he should have never said any of it- it was as much his fault as hers.

"I realise that now." He said. "What is it that you want?"

"The village of Crealic falls on Lyonesse's land, so it is my responsibility. The harvest has been poor these last years and the village is suffering. I am going to lend them the money to get them back on their feet; I also want to set up some trade routes to bring more profit into the area."

"So what do you want from me?"

"If you could help, give me some money towards this endeavour as well as your advice I am happy to give a percentage of the profits to you." Leonie spoke quickly and almost shut her eyes to avoid looking at Olaf.

"I will give you the money, but you do realise you will have to ask for permission for this. King Lot will have to know." Olaf said with a glint of something- he seemed almost excited.

"I know I want you there. He will not want it to come from a woman." Leonie's voice was full with anger.

"I do not understand why you dislike the King so." Olaf said in confusion, Leonie almost snarled.

"He dislikes me. I do not know why but he does."

"I don't understand"

"Since Gareth died the King has raised my taxes three times, much more than the other nobles. He has also ignored any pleas I sent on behalf of Craelic."

"That does not mean he hates you." Olaf frowned "Although my taxes haven't risen at all."

"I doubted they would have. I am not liked Olaf, I am a woman with an opinion and intelligence. There is nothing that scares men more."

"Well I will come with you; I shall make it look like my idea in case of any prejudice. This isn't about us, it's about the village."

"You will help?" Leonie said her eyebrows rising.

"Of course I'll help you idiot. You are my sister." Olaf said in frustration.

"What happened to trying to control me?"

"I realised it would never work. You have always done things yourself, I was wrong to try and change that. I thought you needed my protection."

"I'm sorry Olaf, for these past three years. My pride always prevents me from doing what's right." Leonie stepped forward and wrapped her small arms round Olaf's large frame, her chin resting on his chest.

"As am I, but it's okay now. It's okay." He soothed. They stayed like that for a long time enjoying the embrace and the kinship restored. Together they would be great, together everything would work out.


	17. To Convince a King

Olaf stood proudly before his king. King Lot was an aging man, he was now in his late forties and his large bushy beard was more grey than black. His hair although thinned he had retained, keeping his hair unlike most of the men his age.

King Lot had once been a great man, a brave fighter and great leader. However in recent years he had fallen prey to insecurities, his trust in his council was too great and it made him weak.

It had all happened after the great purge. Camelot looked towards Caerleon to be their allies King Lot had not wanted to agree. Before the purge Caerleon had been a land thriving over the joys of magic, it brought money and prosperity and built the kingdom. King Lot knew how much these people did for the kingdom and they caused no problem for Caerleon unlike Camelot.

However his council had disagreed, they had warned him that refusing to become allies could bring war to the kingdom- a war that they could not win under the might of Camelot's feared knights.

King Lot had regretfully agreed and although he had executed only ten sorcerers since then, thousands had been made to leave. He had given them what he could but the guilt of forcing them from their homes and the affect it had on the Kingdom had shaken his judgement. He was a guilt ridden wreck.

"What is it Sir Olaf?" King Lot boomed from his jewel encrusted throne. Sir Olaf stepped forward and sunk into a deep bow at the Kings feet. "There is no need Olaf." Olaf slowly stood up and faced the King, looking him in the eye and past the wrinkles.

"The western side of Carleon especially the Lyonesses' lands have been struggling of late and I have come up with a plan in which we could improve the productivity of that side of the lands and open up new trade routes." Olaf said. King Lot seemed to mull over this information before gesturing for him to continue. Olaf couldn't help put sigh in relief when he did and he called his servant forward to show the King the very detailed plans drawn up by himself and Leonie the day before. Every detail was painstakingly inked, they had done it in a way that it appeared Leonie had nothing to do with it.

The King read the plans for several long minutes; sweat had started dripping down Olaf's back making his light shirt stick to him. His hands were quivering slightly so he clapped his hands together behind his back and thrust his chest forward in an act of confidence.

After a long time the King spoke.

"These plans are quite…" He paused "Impressive." He licked his lips and rolled the plans back up "I will have to talk to my advisors first, but then I shall decide."

"Sire, if I may." Olaf said bravely "I do not see why you need your council- I only need the go ahead. The plans are in place I am simply looking for your permission."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" King Lot boomed in fury. "I am your King and you should show me some respect!" Olaf hastily bowed again.

"Sire I am simply saying I am one of your most trusted knights, I will not do anything to harm your kingdom. I just thought that you would be more aware of that than your council."

"I do trust you. But these matters should be discussed."

"There is no need. I am asking for nothing. Not for money. This is not a matter of council. This is a matter of me asking you, for your trust. I just want you to advise me as a friend to if you think this could work. You are the greatest strategist in the four kingdoms my lord." Olaf simpered. He pulled it off perfectly, enough complimenting to convince the stubborn awkward man into doing what they wish without coming across slimy.

"I have not seen plans this great in years Olaf, this will go well for you and for the Kingdom. You have my support." The King said after a minute. He sounded pleased and Olaf couldn't help but think it was because he had finally made a decision by himself for the first time in eight years.

"Thank you sire. Good day." Olaf bid farewell, he gathered the papers and left hurriedly. He couldn't help but smile once he left the castle. They had done it, the hardest bit was done they only had to do the actual job now.

Olaf met up with Leonie on the path for Caerleon citadel to his home. She was wringing her hands and rushed over to him the second she saw him. Her pale blue dress flapping around her ankles in her hurry.

"So?" She asked breathlessly scanning his face for her answer. Olaf purposefully kept his face blank before a smile broke through.

"He said okay."

"Oh Olaf!" Leonie said beginning to cry "This is amazing, thank you."

"Now we have a lot of work to do."

"Don't we always?"

* * *

><p>AN Very short one. I'm going to be honest here, the response to this story has been pretty pants to be honest and it's a shame because I really liked this story and hoped you guys would too. So if you do like it, if you do want me to continue leave me a review to let me know. Else I might as well delete it really.


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